Saturday, October 29, 2011

CABC 2011: WEEK 8 PREVIEW

Guess, what guys? The Stars are 7-3 and leading the Pacific Division! Plenty of room on the bandwagon. Halloween is on Monday and I would bet that half of you either have not yet figured out your costume or will be abstaining altogether [I’m looking at you, Greg]. Follow the jump to get this week’s preview and some last minute costume advice.



Week 7 Picks: The 1%

This is you
ARB This Season: 20-17-2
ARB Last Week:    5-7-1
BEN This Season:  7-6-1
BEN Last Week:    6-6-1
ARBvBEN GotW: 1-1-0 

The picks:


Away Home Line ARB BEN
IND TEN -10.5 TEN IND
MIN CAR -3.5 CAR MIN
JAC HOU -10 HOU HOU
NO STL +15.5 NO NO
MIA NYG -10.5 NYG MIA
ARI BAL -13 BAL ARI
WAS BUF -4.5 BUF BUF
DET DEN +3.5 DET DET
NE PIT +2.5 NE PIT
CIN SEA +1 SEA SEA
CLE SF -10 CLE CLE
DAL PHI -3.5 DAL DAL
SD KC +3.5 SD SD

ARB vs BEN Game of the Week:

The Minnesota Vikings visit the Carolina Panthers, and they're getting 3.5 points.

BEN takes Vikings, gets the points. ARB lays the Panthers, gives the points.

This week, these two handsome gentlemen will be betting...
NOMNOMNOM
Sushi! The winner will get a delicious Japanese meal, paid for by the loser. 

"Mo' money, mo' problems." -Milo

Gibbons & Milo's Insider Lock of the Week

"Money for nothing & the chicks for free." -Gibbons
DETROIT giving 3.5 on the road. Saint Tebow be damned! Megatron bows to no one. The Broncos are incredibly terrible. This is free money



BONUS:

Degenerate Gambler's Parlay of the Week:

Carolina Panthers -3.5
Buffalo Bills -5
San Francisco 49ers -9

Risk $100 to win $611.57


Bad beat last week, but this week we get to root against the Vikings, the Redskins, and the Browns. I like that.

ESPN's New Slogan


Just over his left shoulder.
This guy was slightly less subtle.


Wednesday, October 26, 2011

CABC Got a Puppy, and a New Nemesis

With ARush's monopoly on Gibbons, aka Captain Leaf Eater , CABC members have to turn to The Internetz for their fixes of adorable.

May I introduce Bandit:



With the introduction of Bandit comes a new enemy, one common for all pups. ICECUBES.

Gibbons, aka The Extreme Racist, also hates this Icecube.

Week 7 Review: GIFs a Plenty

Blogggggin'
To business:

Monday, October 24, 2011

Saturday, October 22, 2011

Week 6 Picks: A CHALLENGER APPROACHES



HUGE NEWS: The one and only BEN has officially joined the ARB PICK MACHINE and has agreed to pick the games with me every week. We'll keep a running tally of our success, as well as a record of who has the better record when we disagree.

In addition to all that huge news, BEN and ARB will choose one game a week to bet a meal on. So far, ARB owes BEN a STEAK DINNER at the location of BEN's choosing.

ARB This Season: 15-10-1
ARB Last Week:    7-5-1
BEN This Season:  1-0-0
BEN Last Week:    1-0-0
ARBvBEN GotW: 0-1-0


Away Home Line ARB BEN
DEN MIA -2.5 DEN DEN
CHI TB pk CHI TB
HOU TEN -3 TEN HOU
SD NYJ pk SD SD
SEA CLE -3 SEA CLE
WAS CAR -3 CAR CAR
ATL DET -4.5 DET ATL
KC OAK -3.5 OAK OAK
PIT ARI +4 PIT ARI
STL DAL -12 DAL DAL
GB MIN +10.5 GB GB
IND NO -15.5 IND NO
BAL JAC +10 BAL BAL

 ARB vs BEN Game of the Week:

The Pittsburgh Steelers visit the Arizona Cardinals, with the Steelers giving four points.

BEN takes Arizona, gets the points. ARB lays Pittsburgh, gives the points.

This week, these two handsome gentlemen will be betting...
Mi Cocina done right
Mi Cocina Dinner!
Including: Mambos, Margs, Queso, a Babalu, Nachos Locos, and the entree of the winner's choice.

"Catnip is for closers. " -Milo

Gibbons & Milo's Insider Lock of the Week

"The world, Chico, and everything in it." -Gibbons
DALLAS hosting the beat up and terrible St. Louis Rams. It'll be like a little World Series preview. Jesus, we get it St. Louis, you've got an arch. Now shut the fuck up.

BONUS:

Degenerate Gambler's Parlay of the Week:

Chicago Bears -1.5
Denver Broncos pk
Green Bay Packers -10

Risk $100 to win $611.57

We're betting against the Bucs, the Dophins, and the Vikings. I feel pretty good about that. When you factor in Saint Tebow starting for the Broncos on Sunday, I think this one is a lock.

I'd like to point out that the DGPotW actually cashed last week, so you could say we're on a hot streak.

Friday, October 21, 2011

Saturdays 9am - 11am

Tumblr of the Day

With this CABC Season's emphasis on Turtles, I present to you Today's Featured Tumblr.







Some favorites include:


Steve BuscemichalangeloUsheraphaelLarry Davidurtle

pic name

pic name

pic name


2012 Taintsman TMNT Nose!

Had RER Traded AJ to BENarwhal

Bernard would have been like this for dayz.

Thursday, October 20, 2011

CABC 2011: WEEK 7 PREVIEW

I'm still mad at Chicharito.
Jaime Garcia can suck it.
I don't know what the Pan American Games are.
All readers in Mexico are hereby banned from this week's preview.


A Release from the Emergency Strategic Cuteness Reserve

Don't watch the news
After the news images of Terry Thompson's dead menagerie aired yesterday, CABC has decided to combat the negative cuteness outlook with a sizable release from the Emergency Strategic Cuteness Reserve.

Thank you.

Streams as a Meme

Fancy Crab is the latest meme to spawn from le reddit, and FC's messages bear a striking resembles to CABC's own Streams' inebriated thoughts.





Tuesday, October 18, 2011

WEEK 6 REVIEW: THE WEEK OF RECKONING



I don't even care what happened in the rest of the league: Fantasy Football God exists.

And I can prove it:

I would gladly trade Romo for two first round picks


SERIOUSLY???????????????????????????????????????????
Al Davis dies, so you decide to continue his legacy as a crazy person by trading for this guy?
What is happening?



Also, can't wait to see Mike Sims-Walker tear it up in Denver. God Squad 2-Kay-Leven!

Monday, October 17, 2011

Mark's First Attempt At Posting

Ever the self-learner, MMB took his time Friday configuring the complexities of Blogspot for his first successful post in the 2011-2012 CABC Blog Season.


1, 2, 3, Success!

"AAHHHHHH!" definitely stands as the best choice between "BEGIN" and "LET IT BEGIN". I personally prefer the suspenseful subject of "Th".


Saturday, October 15, 2011

It's not just unhealthy; It's racist, too!



I stopped in to my local Sports Authority today to pick up some balls and tees (those are testicles and shirts for those of you not down with the lingo) and saw this pretty little thing. The only thing it's missing is a detachable Kool-Aid dispenser. I vote we pick up one or two of these big fellas and hit another Cowboys game. AND, now I'm done X-Mas shopping for Geggy.

I wish you all a happy Sunday and GO RANGERS!

Friday, October 14, 2011

AAHHHHHH!!!






ROSSSS!!!!!

I will destroy you like the hamster destroys the cucumber

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=67D9qBqcZ3Q
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.

CABC 2011: WEEK 6 PREVIEW

I know how to use my words. In fact, this week's preview checks in at over 650 of them! I'd really appreciate it if you all would check it out. Thanks guys,  MMB  JBF
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.

First Trade of the Season

Pretty Impressive
Details below.

Tuesday, October 11, 2011

Week 5 Picks

This is high comedy.
This Season: 8 - 5
Last week: 8 - 5

The Picks:

Away Home Line Pick
JAC PIT -13 PIT
STL GB -15.5 STL
BUF NYG -3 BUF
CAR ATL -5.5 ATL
SF DET -4.5 DET
PHI WAS pk WAS
IND CIN -7 CIN
HOU BAL -6.5 BAL
CLE OAK -7 OAK
DAL NE -7 DAL
NO TB +4.5 NO
MIN CHI -3 CHI
MIA NYJ -9 NYJ



"All I do is win. Money Talks. " -Milo

Gibbons & Milo's Insider Lock of the Week

"Fat stacks and skinny bitches." -Gibbons
Washington hosting Philly in a pick 'em game. The Eagles are banged up, they've got no defensive coordinator, and Michael Vick is a dog murderer. The Redskins should have 300 rushing yards.



BONUS:

Degenerate Gambler's Parlay of the Week:

SMU -3
Texas A&M -9
Buffalo Bills +3.5

Risk $100 to win $643.11

Week 5 Review Preview Review

Clearly a photo from Tumblr, not Reddit
  1. Weekend Activities
    1. I took two lessons and played 36 holes so my game would be razor sharp for Cypress Point.
    2. I did not see SKC, although we did discuss Breaking Bad.
    3. Any accurate preview would realize that I rarely drink beer.
  2. This one is hard to argue with
Reed is CLEARLY the one on the right

3. See above.

4. I had 8 players on byes, and BEN has a highly competitive team. No shame in this week. That being said, the amount of butt-hurt over last week from the RER, RSR, and the R family is fairly incredible.  Mea culpa be damned, I'm officially awarding the CABC all-time butt-hurt bronze medal* jointly to RER and RSR.


*Silver- MMB, "Scoregate"

Week 5 Review Preview

While we all await Streams to come off the inebriation train after Nellee Cruz's Boomstick Slam and this week's narrow loss to BENinja, I am here to present this week's review preview.

Streams' Present State


Here is what we can expect:

1) A gratuitous amount of pictures of Streams' past weekend which include:
  a) Close-ups of meals prepared
b) At least one picture of him and SKC [timestamp not relevant]
c) Two beers in the same picture

2) An animal picture with me referenced (Nod to you, good sir)

3) A picture from reddit

4) Little to no reference of this past weekend's close escape by the lucky Bernard Narwhal Newellster III, which will look something like this:

JBF over SKR, 196-156.5
RER over ADL, 152-139.5
BEN over ARB, 207-117.5
MMB over GMF, 174.5-171.5
RSR over SKC, 151-147

BEN is your Week 5 Champion

Matt Schaub is your Week 5 MVP.

Monday, October 10, 2011

Nelson "The Velour Hammer" Cruz

 At first I was like...
Uh oh
But then...

The Latin Lamborghini
and I was like...

Sploosh
See you gentlemen in Milwaukee.

Dear King: YOU SUCK AGAIN!



Friday, October 7, 2011

CABC 2011: WEEK 5 PREVIEW


COME EARLY, BE LOUD, STAY LATE: It's CABC's Week 5 and OU Still Sucks.
My Spirit Animal is the Acho

CABC NFL Picks of the Week

Let's get down to it.
Away Home Line Pick
TEN PIT -5 PIT
ARI MIN -3 ARI
KC IND -1.5 IND
OAK HOU -7 OAK
NO CAR +7 NO
PHI BUF +3 BUF
CIN JAC -1 CIN
SEA NYG -11.5 SEA
TB SF -3 TB
SD DEN +6 SD
NYJ NE -10 NYJ
GB ATL +5 GB
CHI DET -7 DET


"It ain't a bet if you always win." -Milo

Gibbons & Milo's Insider Lock of the Week

"This is my town. I run Vegas." -Gibbons
Indianapolis giving 2 at home against Kansas City. KC is completely terrible, the only way this loses is if the Colts decide that Suck for Luck is their goal this season.





BONUS:

Degenerate Gambler's Teaser of the Week:

THE EVIL EMPIRE Teaser!

New England Patriots -2
Oklahoma Sooners -4
Philadelphia Eagles+4
Texas A&M Aggies -2.5

Risk $100 to win $200

I like this bet because it's a depression hedge. If all these teams cover , you get an extra $200 to spend on fine wines and exotic meats. Of course, three of these teams will probably cover and the Eagles probably screw you. But hey, this is bet is for degenerates only.