tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-19216086039384153092024-03-06T00:45:57.358-06:00Can't All Be CowboysUnknownnoreply@blogger.comBlogger466125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1921608603938415309.post-36490694477627097442013-08-04T07:57:00.000-05:002013-08-04T07:57:30.223-05:00<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
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<br />Markhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15047707926355122628noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1921608603938415309.post-6464080078619442602012-09-27T13:59:00.001-05:002012-09-27T13:59:18.654-05:00Week 3: Hit of the Week<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgGIJaE7ZSxS5ci_SLpY8aNQx8ACbI_fIEp56x79bO4iAWBMYh2lJw6QVRypVchJkGX7fkttRJ8FRs6-BLxw6upfc11MouGnr8MZ7HC69lTirLiXIgXPCWaweN3gI1Yu6W7wB40rbUq0FY/s1600/BR+-+Schaub.gif" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="163" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgGIJaE7ZSxS5ci_SLpY8aNQx8ACbI_fIEp56x79bO4iAWBMYh2lJw6QVRypVchJkGX7fkttRJ8FRs6-BLxw6upfc11MouGnr8MZ7HC69lTirLiXIgXPCWaweN3gI1Yu6W7wB40rbUq0FY/s320/BR+-+Schaub.gif" width="320" /></a></div>
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Two man enter! One man leave!</div>
<br />
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEilwYOYdr3d12v-kjqWZBEZiEsnj9wfO1E71pbMWYZKRjh0ZDhS8VrjOwFLZgYEUtFEoO8LSIBUegmO6IK6fX427pu_I-ZNJz-o0C-ngeSgdYcUjN-I8RHP2WI-T9ysi5jEhoVEswbQoRs/s1600/schaub-hit-9-23-12.gif" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="181" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEilwYOYdr3d12v-kjqWZBEZiEsnj9wfO1E71pbMWYZKRjh0ZDhS8VrjOwFLZgYEUtFEoO8LSIBUegmO6IK6fX427pu_I-ZNJz-o0C-ngeSgdYcUjN-I8RHP2WI-T9ysi5jEhoVEswbQoRs/s320/schaub-hit-9-23-12.gif" width="320" /></a></div>
<br />Stanhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05128633693919810337noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1921608603938415309.post-74583454159514110552012-09-27T06:30:00.001-05:002012-09-27T06:30:58.001-05:00<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
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<br />Markhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15047707926355122628noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1921608603938415309.post-67721950294641447062012-09-19T22:59:00.000-05:002012-09-19T22:59:35.754-05:00DING DONG<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhlq-DVGY4-Vqwn9R6FsAVBGzv2m6esQhydnqCIOQ8JYT-lfsbQ3N52aX7FsblIvj5TZ1F0NojwTKdq3DMI5DBGZmkX_alR-dt44YJhxyhgkJH4oTcUbm1f6O1S54U6PKRINjfyPdhjGcw/s1600/Tate+vs+Lee.gif" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="172" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhlq-DVGY4-Vqwn9R6FsAVBGzv2m6esQhydnqCIOQ8JYT-lfsbQ3N52aX7FsblIvj5TZ1F0NojwTKdq3DMI5DBGZmkX_alR-dt44YJhxyhgkJH4oTcUbm1f6O1S54U6PKRINjfyPdhjGcw/s320/Tate+vs+Lee.gif" width="320" /></a></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<span style="font-size: x-small;">Lee gets a badge of courage, Tate flies back to Seattle. </span></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<span style="font-size: x-small;">We know who's really taking the big hit.</span></div>
Stanhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05128633693919810337noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1921608603938415309.post-85640936818318886762012-09-11T16:48:00.000-05:002012-09-11T17:05:27.218-05:00Who Hungry?<table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto; text-align: center;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhOSEe6rMZ9J6FeV6grh9ymnngFu01SSapv5QQw3xTRTdgtBR4cMsD0pEjNMKlXMhyphenhyphentQ4X_jbvmHr8DB0nNiCTgnJVLJ2qGkkmyTaHyA4eE-af0B3FpyO00rdycgsNEbyGeMw47ia4NpZE/s1600/wolf-cat.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhOSEe6rMZ9J6FeV6grh9ymnngFu01SSapv5QQw3xTRTdgtBR4cMsD0pEjNMKlXMhyphenhyphentQ4X_jbvmHr8DB0nNiCTgnJVLJ2qGkkmyTaHyA4eE-af0B3FpyO00rdycgsNEbyGeMw47ia4NpZE/s1600/wolf-cat.jpg" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">Sadly, only starters count for points.</td></tr>
</tbody></table>
<i>Running backs! </i><br />
<br />
<i>Get your running backs! </i><br />
<br />
<i>Running backs for sale!</i><br />
<br />
<br />
Gentlemen,<br />
<br />
I have what you need.<br />
<br />
I have three of the top four runningbacks after week one. (And also Marshawn Lynch and Donald Brown!)<br />
<br />
LeSean McCoy is only available for another "untouchable" (Brady, Brees, Rice, Rogers). I know that dog won't hunt.<br />
<br />
C.J Spiller, Shonne Greene, Donald Brown and Marshawn Lynch are all available. <br />
<br />
If you need QB depth, Matt Cassel and Christian Ponder are available<br />
<br />
Kenny Britt is available as well, and his suspension is over.<br />
<br />
NFC teams strongly preferred, but I'll discuss any offer.<br />
<br />
I'd prefer to get an upgrade at WR, depth/breakout potential at WR or a 3rd tier QB.<br />
<br />
<a href="http://games.espn.go.com/ffl/tradingblock?leagueId=46248&teamId=1" target="_blank">Here's the trading block.</a> Let's make some magic happen. Unknownnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1921608603938415309.post-9897156578033576722012-09-07T12:14:00.000-05:002012-09-07T12:14:13.847-05:00Jerry's Minion<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiTFZ_o9reior5M9LQfUpxFMErhnQHkKEAZvGaTUB65NNT05tOG2SeXIDFyh147xHEWvqdcW6obTfcjf5ObAS8WswL4tXvuWCKgyM1F6IPWVg0XvgETQo6G283eNd-p3aVy-iUrQpVPtpM/s1600/jj.gif" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiTFZ_o9reior5M9LQfUpxFMErhnQHkKEAZvGaTUB65NNT05tOG2SeXIDFyh147xHEWvqdcW6obTfcjf5ObAS8WswL4tXvuWCKgyM1F6IPWVg0XvgETQo6G283eNd-p3aVy-iUrQpVPtpM/s1600/jj.gif" /></a></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<span style="font-size: x-small;">For every smudge, I will liquidate you</span></div>
Stanhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05128633693919810337noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1921608603938415309.post-27163291718682928392012-09-06T16:32:00.000-05:002012-09-07T10:23:58.912-05:00THE EPIC 2012 CABC SEASON PREVIEW<table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto; text-align: center;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgvwaAw6XkbXI6t5HrqJOAL6_ZTa40YMGP3aO2GYYD88X7sURwnZEh7l4CDg5YFw-kXoDGXDVHW910Smjzt7zQrL34CWdoJ-vj0JgpJBrO-O_-p8zHGGd5BAid4SgiEfQgp26GPMByrF0E/s1600/Dr-Spaceman-Main.gif" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgvwaAw6XkbXI6t5HrqJOAL6_ZTa40YMGP3aO2GYYD88X7sURwnZEh7l4CDg5YFw-kXoDGXDVHW910Smjzt7zQrL34CWdoJ-vj0JgpJBrO-O_-p8zHGGd5BAid4SgiEfQgp26GPMByrF0E/s1600/Dr-Spaceman-Main.gif" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">Welcome to the CABC Preview</td><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;"><br /></td></tr>
</tbody></table>
Alright boys and girls, this is the big one.<br />
<br />
Let's get started:<br />
<a name='more'></a>Please take a moment to get a general feel for the league before we dive in deeper for each team<br />
<br />
<span style="font-size: large;"><b>Team Overviews: </b></span><br />
<table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto; text-align: center;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEi9X3guqz5oUtxUY8W9QhtDUGfGCZ7ve9CUuPrjarU1MrIB6-Fb7pAs9f7kvZF6sgPeMCVOq0orJc9MiVYIkSxahNbEPMT7p_k6SkRxFTr5c3gS9SWpWSuobvVNEpXR7IOjtQ66AMiNTPs/s1600/2012+CABC+PRESEASON+PROJECTIONS.PNG" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="212" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEi9X3guqz5oUtxUY8W9QhtDUGfGCZ7ve9CUuPrjarU1MrIB6-Fb7pAs9f7kvZF6sgPeMCVOq0orJc9MiVYIkSxahNbEPMT7p_k6SkRxFTr5c3gS9SWpWSuobvVNEpXR7IOjtQ66AMiNTPs/s400/2012+CABC+PRESEASON+PROJECTIONS.PNG" width="400" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;"> There are colors here, MMB, I promise.</td></tr>
</tbody></table>
<span style="font-size: large;"><b>Team Offense:</b></span><br />
<table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto; text-align: center;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjXQ7EXuxmiINCOFJSXKBklTTDL38dpLzZHZdZPNT3px78xAIkIflcGihIQZ21pcVkQafYaAwB-sbg1AJOdCHVT5HL9DJ_4gomDb09KHMNzldmtRObes6v4c3v3JDGWOWnsuNDFBG_1tEo/s1600/2012+Offense.png" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="195" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjXQ7EXuxmiINCOFJSXKBklTTDL38dpLzZHZdZPNT3px78xAIkIflcGihIQZ21pcVkQafYaAwB-sbg1AJOdCHVT5HL9DJ_4gomDb09KHMNzldmtRObes6v4c3v3JDGWOWnsuNDFBG_1tEo/s400/2012+Offense.png" width="400" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">These QBs could make a team by themselves.</td></tr>
</tbody></table>
<span style="font-size: large;"><b>Team Defense: </b></span><br />
<table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto; text-align: center;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjv8kZ7AxK4TCdd-s_kg6dPW1AL38TNE045XGChsPiTH53ChWwX9sK0iR25bc4KiLrOzAqhImUJjUjHOQ1Px6JydbtMYKYJWa4Wqm7Sr8kystfcNFVSS81RaZnpsXmp5tSHRCERsPtc1VE/s1600/2012+Defense.png" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="168" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjv8kZ7AxK4TCdd-s_kg6dPW1AL38TNE045XGChsPiTH53ChWwX9sK0iR25bc4KiLrOzAqhImUJjUjHOQ1Px6JydbtMYKYJWa4Wqm7Sr8kystfcNFVSS81RaZnpsXmp5tSHRCERsPtc1VE/s400/2012+Defense.png" width="400" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">Defense wins championships.</td></tr>
</tbody></table>
<br />
Everybody up to speed? Good.<br />
<br />
Here are the details: <br />
<br />
In addition to my normal points projections for each player and team, this year I conducted a 10,000 iteration Monte Carlo simulation of our season. Each player was assigned a base per game number (usually his average points scored), and then a random increase or decrease based on the player's variance from 2011. This captures the difference in performance between a guy like Wes Welker (steady as she goes) and a guy like Brandon Marshall (great games and no shows). So each of the games in our league were played 10,000 times and the results were recorded. For each team, the results of those simulations are in the bottom right hand corner.<br />
<br />
We'll take a look at the league results a little later, but now, the teams:<br />
<br />
<span style="font-size: large;"><b>1. Empire Business, BEN</b></span><br />
<table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto; text-align: center;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhRkvUBQZhOSOcNlIJKP76JuT7-s7jvSGofwtluNYdW37D8fAo15uHxdM9MEWHsiHnC7_B86awzS09i5hcSz995mQu_p9K7O9Rndg1OQSLIJZ8K5SWpEbCVSvNjuJ_p-W2_DdDviFyLhdw/s1600/BEN+2012+2.png" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="208" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhRkvUBQZhOSOcNlIJKP76JuT7-s7jvSGofwtluNYdW37D8fAo15uHxdM9MEWHsiHnC7_B86awzS09i5hcSz995mQu_p9K7O9Rndg1OQSLIJZ8K5SWpEbCVSvNjuJ_p-W2_DdDviFyLhdw/s400/BEN+2012+2.png" width="400" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">All empires end.</td></tr>
</tbody></table>
<br />
Much like Walter White, his hero, BEN has engaged in some high-risk, high-reward behavior. Matthew Stafford is the ultimate in risk-reward. He could end up CABC MVP or he could be out half the year with a shoulder injury. With Rivers, McFadden, Jackson, Jackson, Austin, and Witten, BEN has announced to the league: "I am not playing for second place." These are all very high risk players.<br />
<br />
The good news for BEN is that his team is deep at RB and WR. The bad news is that he plays a very tough schedule and he only has two QBs on his roster. Dwayne Bowe and Jonathan Stewart could easily be flipped for a mid-level QB, but then this team would be sacrificing the match-up depth which makes it formidable.<br />
<br />
It cannot be overstated that these projections do not fully capture long TD points. Stafford, Rivers, Jackson, and Austin are all home-run hitters. In the simulations BEN had a tendency to blow out opponents, but lose close games. Careful roster management will be required by BEN to repeat as champion.<br />
<br />
<span style="font-size: large;"><b>2. Condomgate - A Headbutt Saga, ADL</b></span><br />
<table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto; text-align: center;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgiKRuGkewHUMq8yI-Xjvp6Vi4Ch6FdF5S4uVXmOpsDjB00wxT176mZ_-ewKPOMu5hkjlZfWYOlVxjcXb9CBjNgUQimjIsZi6P2D0eTCkRpCBb6CeTb9_RC7ZatTmh-3NRYgSwL8abfGPk/s1600/ADL+2012.png" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="203" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgiKRuGkewHUMq8yI-Xjvp6Vi4Ch6FdF5S4uVXmOpsDjB00wxT176mZ_-ewKPOMu5hkjlZfWYOlVxjcXb9CBjNgUQimjIsZi6P2D0eTCkRpCBb6CeTb9_RC7ZatTmh-3NRYgSwL8abfGPk/s400/ADL+2012.png" width="400" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">In Romo we trust.</td></tr>
</tbody></table>
Let it be noted that I will never forgive ADL if Matt Ryan has a monster 2012. Ryan is in a rare situation: he has two legitimate number one receivers, a real running game, and a sure-handed tight-end. I can't remember any guy so nicely set-up for a breakout season. ADL's other QB, Tony Romo, is a hero beyond question, but with the Cowboys (hopefully) improved defense and run game, he should see his numbers slip slightly in 2012.<br />
<br />
At WR, ADL has a nice mix of proven veterans (Jennings, Colston) and exciting young players (Decker, T. Smith). RB is a potential problem area: both Fred Jackson and Michael Turner are on the wrong side of 30, and DeAngelo Williams and Reggie Bush are unknowns at this point. I actually love the Helu pickup in the 26th round. That late in the draft, why the hell not?<br />
<br />
Defense is a problem for this team. It would appear that ADL decided to pick great names instead of great players. He'll need to use three or four free-agency pickups just to restore this unit to replacement-player level.<br />
<br />
At first glance this team looks like trouble, but don't forget that ADL defied the projections last year and made the championship.<br />
<br />
<span style="font-size: large;"><b>3. Mammals Of The One Percent, ARB</b></span><br />
<table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto; text-align: center;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiWDFrGEgXpbLzJQTQzhLshDnyHAySOrQkRp7ut2BixEZn1hYOCZVQ1TaYr5gNPIQ2Bw_cU92J4JTCuY9PwEA-Qg9cWF7hdxsWKShn8F2S_201lvL0LAhPd0zoKFUZ9RY966eMwGlgZ-fk/s1600/ARB+2012.png" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="207" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiWDFrGEgXpbLzJQTQzhLshDnyHAySOrQkRp7ut2BixEZn1hYOCZVQ1TaYr5gNPIQ2Bw_cU92J4JTCuY9PwEA-Qg9cWF7hdxsWKShn8F2S_201lvL0LAhPd0zoKFUZ9RY966eMwGlgZ-fk/s400/ARB+2012.png" width="400" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">Why aren't we at home with our mammals watching vaseball?</td></tr>
</tbody></table>
Waaaaaaaa!!! ARB is first in his own rankings! This isn't fair! I don't want to go to bed! I'm not tired!<br />
<br />
Since these are the rankings I draft with, it seems pretty obvious that I'm going to do well according to them. Yet every year, everybody complains that I'm being overly generous to myself. I usually put the ESPN ranks up as a comparison, but ESPN decided not to put up defensive projections this year, so we're stuck with mine. Also, I'll point it out again: these projections had an r-squared of .876 for last year.<br />
<br />
It pained me deeply to not land a QB or RB that I really wanted in the first round. McCoy and Eli will be good this year, but having an Eagle and a Giant as the cornerstones of my offense just feels gross. Other than that, I'm excited to land both Hernandez and Lloyd. I predict great things for both of them.<br />
<br />
In the simulations, I had a lot of wins and low standard deviation. Again, these are using my projections, take a deep breath. You'll make it.<br />
<br />
<span style="font-size: large;"><b>4. Eloquent Assholes, JBF</b></span><br />
<table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto; text-align: center;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiYLpwvJjNwVay9pIw4ecOJgEHkyQVSf2M0wYBsDLXwGLsXEgwCAVTQ9ocxMTq43PwqvufuyOSRjsoiGwWkTKbNB-ZtAVp75_Wy-B8kVFGPLm79FMcKEYDne0iQecdkP4KrfKwluo9P85w/s1600/JBF+2012.png" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="210" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiYLpwvJjNwVay9pIw4ecOJgEHkyQVSf2M0wYBsDLXwGLsXEgwCAVTQ9ocxMTq43PwqvufuyOSRjsoiGwWkTKbNB-ZtAVp75_Wy-B8kVFGPLm79FMcKEYDne0iQecdkP4KrfKwluo9P85w/s400/JBF+2012.png" width="400" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">If RGIII ends up being good, we nuke Ashburn, VA from orbit. Only way to be sure.</td></tr>
</tbody></table>
There's no other way to say it: JBF is gonna be decent this year. Brees, Griffin, and Palmer are his QBs, Victor Cruz and A.J. Green are his WRs, Vernon Davis is his TE and Chris Johnson is his lead back. The only question mark on offense is his flex slot. Can Doug Martin break out? Can Ahmad Bradshaw be serviceable? Or does JBF lurk on the waiver wire and wait for an injury to a top back?<br />
<br />
The Assholes' defense is built with stars and scrubs, but under-performers can be replaced by waiver pickups.<br />
<br />
A solid team all around with a high mean win-projection and a high-variance. There is real downside-risk with Johnson, Cruz, and Griffin, but the chance that all three guys are busts is low. This team is middle-of-the-road at worst and will be in the hunt for the playoffs.<br />
<br />
<span style="font-size: large;"><b>5. Password is Taco, MMB</b></span><br />
<table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto; text-align: center;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjyK90y1HhcDRyz01gguDAR5TplP45QY2m3bNfN7y6NwFFy7JRRQ6dnsm4j-e0K9qCOT1doK0dowydraPazdcR4NABxFVFHb418LZGatohY28qv_1DKBfep0_uVGIVSj6Di4mK4jTq2SLA/s1600/MMB+2012.png" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="205" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjyK90y1HhcDRyz01gguDAR5TplP45QY2m3bNfN7y6NwFFy7JRRQ6dnsm4j-e0K9qCOT1doK0dowydraPazdcR4NABxFVFHb418LZGatohY28qv_1DKBfep0_uVGIVSj6Di4mK4jTq2SLA/s400/MMB+2012.png" width="400" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">Cam'ing, in more ways than one.</td></tr>
</tbody></table>
I honestly don't know what to make of this offense. Newton and Schaub, MJD and Frank Gore, White and Wallace. My love of the WRs has been well documented, but Newton has no comparables, MJD is hurt, Schaub is unreliable, and Gore gets inconsistent touches in a bad offense. Again, this offense is a mystery to me.<br />
<br />
The defense is easier to understand: it's bad. Despite MMB loading up on defensive players, he failed to pick any serious play-makers. This is going to be a problem for two reasons: MMB will have to replace these players, and he'll have to use waivers to do so (the rest of the league is relatively devoid of backup-defensive players).<br />
<br />
Using waiver picks on defensive replacements is never great, but it's especially bad when your team only has 2 QBs, 3 RBs, and 4 WRs. Any hiccups from the starters could leave this team in serious trouble down the stretch. I suggest that MMB trade for depth whenever possible and avoid frivolous waiver pick-ups.<br />
<br />
It should come to no surprise that this team projects for an average number of wins, but with the league's highest standard deviation. The Championship and The Taintsman are both in play.<br />
<br />
<span style="font-size: large;"><b>6. Mannings and Manatees, RSR</b></span><br />
<table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto; text-align: center;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgP9yTg5NTB5aUdFg7oFZraBPLjrXaAUX6GPBAOhycYnh8p0PN0Kl4fPysj7Yy_h-ojWAbAKYniYc1npQxFU0G2On2M6O_BLRflotTam8jL2kWsNCgeIePwSUfQBFfZ5FskEYh27qTDoE8/s1600/RSR+2012.png" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="206" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgP9yTg5NTB5aUdFg7oFZraBPLjrXaAUX6GPBAOhycYnh8p0PN0Kl4fPysj7Yy_h-ojWAbAKYniYc1npQxFU0G2On2M6O_BLRflotTam8jL2kWsNCgeIePwSUfQBFfZ5FskEYh27qTDoE8/s400/RSR+2012.png" width="400" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">QBs? We don't need no stinking QBs.</td></tr>
</tbody></table>
RSR has the best pair of RBs in the league. He also has the league's best player. He also has an incredibly strong defense. He also has an elite TE, and good WRs.<br />
<br />
Yay!!! Championship! Book it! ...Right?<br />
<br />
Not so fast, RSR. CABC generally requires two decent QBs to make the playoffs. But hell, with backs like yours, you could make it easily with only one!<br />
<br />
What's that? You don't have a single decent quarterback? Ohhhh...<br />
<br />
With names like Freeman, Dalton, Bradford, and Sanchez, RSR has amassed a collection of mediocrity rarely seen outside of College Station.<br />
<br />
All kidding aside, this is a very good team with absolutely no depth. If Rice or Peterson goes down, Stevan Ridley is next in line to take those snaps. Good luck with that.<br />
<br />
<span style="font-size: large;"><b>7. Sam Hurd Criminal Master, GMF</b></span><br />
<table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto; text-align: center;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgLc5PFIZKoqkwBFjgk4GrDzMFvczZ-gZw_MKCrhCj-CRTwhUnAJylDkmPHjVlJ27jHIVAuDDLjIoNqZCTWXnGb6-sBGc7eXrLxTA59b8pO6Aka1uMzMS2X2bIXGWOq65jwVR6HqkxCBOI/s1600/GMF+2012.png" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="207" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgLc5PFIZKoqkwBFjgk4GrDzMFvczZ-gZw_MKCrhCj-CRTwhUnAJylDkmPHjVlJ27jHIVAuDDLjIoNqZCTWXnGb6-sBGc7eXrLxTA59b8pO6Aka1uMzMS2X2bIXGWOq65jwVR6HqkxCBOI/s400/GMF+2012.png" width="400" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">Cell phones do not work that way.</td></tr>
</tbody></table>
With Aaron Rogers and Jay Cutler bravely leading this team, GMF will be able to breath easy at the QB position. Every other offensive position comes with serious question marks.<br />
<br />
Andre Johnson and Brandon Marshall are, without question, two of the league's most talented WRs. Sadly, Johnson can't stay healthy, and Marshall might be clinically insane. On the other hand, GMF's second tier WRs actually look fantastic. Antonio Brown and Demaryius Thomas both should be great in 2012. Brown was all-world in the second half of last season, and Thomas will now be catching balls from Peyton Manning instead of Tim Tebow. In the end, WR looks risky, but there are also things to be excited about.<br />
<br />
There's nothing to be excited about at RB. In his infinite wisdom, GMF selected only three RBs: Trent Richardson, Mark Ingram, and Isaac Redman. I actually even like Richardson just because Cleveland is going to be so terrible that he'll get a lot of touches. Ingram and Redman are the other-side of that coin. It doesn't matter how great Ingram plays, the Saints are spreading the ball to nine different guys. Redman will share his carries, too; Mendenhall and Dwyer round out the Steelers' three-man backfield.<br />
<br />
The defense looks to be middle of the road, but very consistent. That base of points could provide the foundation to wins if GMF gets big performances from his offense.<br />
<br />
GMF projected to slightly below average wins on the quality of his RBs and the inconsistency of his WRs. His mean-wins projection had the second highest standard deviation in the league. This team will surprise people this year, but it's hard to know in what way.<br />
<br />
<span style="font-size: large;"><b>8. Taters Gonna Tate, SKR</b></span><br />
<table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto; text-align: center;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgGvB8T4aOsEQjTBzzk-PmU94DXNtBU_dAN906nFL38NQzYE8EQp3EbqawKcQWC3bkMiJ76JKOQ0ivprl9rUIGwlYXS_RDR9s2AiUGkhIGas6KuzqEybEGTFHNxl3S_xSc3XtgT_peVpxk/s1600/2012+SKR.png" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="206" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgGvB8T4aOsEQjTBzzk-PmU94DXNtBU_dAN906nFL38NQzYE8EQp3EbqawKcQWC3bkMiJ76JKOQ0ivprl9rUIGwlYXS_RDR9s2AiUGkhIGas6KuzqEybEGTFHNxl3S_xSc3XtgT_peVpxk/s400/2012+SKR.png" width="400" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">Physician, heal thyself</td></tr>
</tbody></table>
If a risk averse gentleman took a look at this team, I suspect his monocle would fall out and he might need a snifter of brandy to right himself.<br />
<br />
The offensive core of Michael Vick, three WRs, and Jamaal Charles is just tough to feel good about. Forget for a moment that the WRs are Megatron, Julio Jones, and Percy Harvin. Michael Vick is a walking injury and refuses to slide. Jamaal Charles is returning from a season-ending knee injury. As for QB and RB depth (after the inevitable injury), this team has Ryan Fitzpatrick, Andrew Luck, Willis McGahee, Ben Tate, and BenJarvus Green-Ellis. Woof.<br />
<br />
The bright side of this team is that WR is incredibly strong. Megatron is Megatron. Julio Jones is going to be one half of the most unrecoverable WR duo in the league. The Vikings will be down 20 points by half, so get used to seeing Harvin targeted for half the snaps in the second half.<br />
<br />
And do you want to hear something crazy? Despite all the trouble on offense with depth and injury risk, this team projects to produce about an average number of points.<br />
<br />
SKR can sure up the defense with a few strategic pickups along the way, and if his players stay healthy, he'll be right in the thick of the playoff race. If he were in the NFC, I'd even say he had a decent shot at the 1 seed. However, as we'll see in just a bit, the AFC is brutal this year.<br />
<br />
Maybe shitty jewelry will be in style by next January?<br />
<br />
<span style="font-size: large;"><b>9. GOBIAS INDUSTRIES, RER</b></span><br />
<table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto; text-align: center;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEitD7v2UsVOE_h3WFCfNpw58svp7UTk9JS8DHbpLSTAyRVnlwBxXHIjjCkKIAmpbuh673Hr6L8udobQeMpUuSrBMkhctSOe02CRR4MJR0a-kCaV48Qxt5b1sQm61d4ZkAZsNpHsg9sElAw/s1600/2012+RER.png" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="207" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEitD7v2UsVOE_h3WFCfNpw58svp7UTk9JS8DHbpLSTAyRVnlwBxXHIjjCkKIAmpbuh673Hr6L8udobQeMpUuSrBMkhctSOe02CRR4MJR0a-kCaV48Qxt5b1sQm61d4ZkAZsNpHsg9sElAw/s400/2012+RER.png" width="400" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">Goddamn Dreamboat</td></tr>
</tbody></table>
My main criticism of this team is that it's a little Patriots' heavy. This team is going to live and die with Dreamboat, Gronk, and Welker. These would normally be great guys to bet your season on, but New England plays the 5th easiest schedule this season, including Arizona, St. Louis, Jacksonville, Indianapolis, and Miami. Brady & Co. will be up by 21 at halftime during these games and running draw plays to wind down the clock.<br />
<br />
What if the Pats have a bye locked up by week 15? How devastating will it be to make the championship game only to have your star players sitting on the bench?<br />
<br />
Just something to keep you up at night, RER.<br />
<br />
Forte, Sproles, Flacco, and Nicks are all above average players who will round out this Pats-fest quite nicely. QB depth is adequate with Alex Smith and Blaine Gabbert on the bench. Blackmon, Garcon, K. Wright, and Lance Moore can all be effective in spot start duty. RB depth is a concern with only David Wilson on the bench. That position might need to be beefed up in the coming weeks. That being said, with any luck at all, RER will have the premier offensive unit in CABC.<br />
<br />
The defense is below average, but a few waiver pickups will help that tremendously.<br />
<br />
And just to add to the embarrassment of riches, this team plays in the NFC and is almost a lock to make the playoffs.<br />
<br />
<span style="font-size: large;"><b>10. Happy Valley Slapping Sounds, SKC</b></span><br />
<table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto; text-align: center;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEj5-zhIsAKMWs9K5-JEmehde3xgmORA9_bZhylQg778WJigZBbyHV9QJlORCQRAeUAgCOAkBJaHk3XwrQCJrHZysS4THA7QSh0CEQdarMmU1Wup_0r89nN8F7_RR8DU0JDUPH3HlbBW87g/s1600/SKC+2012.png" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="207" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEj5-zhIsAKMWs9K5-JEmehde3xgmORA9_bZhylQg778WJigZBbyHV9QJlORCQRAeUAgCOAkBJaHk3XwrQCJrHZysS4THA7QSh0CEQdarMmU1Wup_0r89nN8F7_RR8DU0JDUPH3HlbBW87g/s400/SKC+2012.png" width="400" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">I looked and beheld a Manning Horse, and his name who sat on him was SKC and redemption followed with him.</td></tr>
</tbody></table>
Listen to these names: Arian Foster, Peyton Manning, DeMarco Murray, Larry Fitzgerald, Dez Bryant, Ryan Mathews, and Antonio Gates. SKC has a very strong offense*. (*Assuming Peyton Manning's noodle arm is a clever ruse to throw off the competition.)<br />
<br />
The starters look good, but depth is a very serious issue. Jack Locker is the only backup QB, Ryan Williams and Cedric Benson are the only RBs, and Crabtree, T. Young, Floyd, and A. Jeffery round out this island of misfit backups.<br />
<br />
That's OK though, it's not like Foster, Manning, Murray, Fitzgerald, Bryant, Mathews, or Gates has ever had a problem with injury, right?<br />
<br />
Trading for a QB should be this team's biggest goal right now, but assuming no injuries to key starters, this unit actually looks very strong. <br />
<br />
Defense looks above average, and I think Gostkowski will light it up this year.<br />
<br />
Overall, this is an above average team with serious downside risk. Godspeed, SKC.<br />
<br />
<b><span style="font-size: large;">Best and Worst Picks by Team</span></b><br />
<br />
<span style="font-size: large;"><i><b>The Best:</b></i></span><br />
<table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto; text-align: center;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjIf6fDA_oSD81e0vXsDwxYD8UYVXkyCPmzK_WUlQwb7MbPlVdJ5xT5OaeONKqjl5OxLoSERDOUcQ3x5JKAmKfu8Y_GoStPe6pwVkYikPxRtKHcoIlyIAWBmPUvMsYGo1_PxD0jBqhRQ-8/s1600/Best+Picks.png" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjIf6fDA_oSD81e0vXsDwxYD8UYVXkyCPmzK_WUlQwb7MbPlVdJ5xT5OaeONKqjl5OxLoSERDOUcQ3x5JKAmKfu8Y_GoStPe6pwVkYikPxRtKHcoIlyIAWBmPUvMsYGo1_PxD0jBqhRQ-8/s400/Best+Picks.png" width="400" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">TEs got no love this year</td></tr>
</tbody></table>
This isn't particularly surprising. After the elite TEs went off the board, most owners shrewdly decided to just grab a guy late. This resulted in tremendous value relative to the position these players were drafted. Christian Ponder, Roy Helu, Michael Bush, Nate Washington and Lance Moore are all players with obvious warts that provide either upside, depth or injury protection.<br />
<br />
<span style="font-size: large;"><i><b>The Worst</b></i></span><br />
<table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto; text-align: center;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhCwDCYKwelkWoz7toZkOOygV_omM7zumZ-UHK3tFIND_zpu1zRwF3yRWUjo6JfYpvRrCDxvz8KWgG7UqqN06AN_9np-T7HltYYXQUoK1v9hoebMn9za6YRExMbm1Nq_7xTE1FPL5D9HOI/s1600/Worst+Picks.png" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="318" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhCwDCYKwelkWoz7toZkOOygV_omM7zumZ-UHK3tFIND_zpu1zRwF3yRWUjo6JfYpvRrCDxvz8KWgG7UqqN06AN_9np-T7HltYYXQUoK1v9hoebMn9za6YRExMbm1Nq_7xTE1FPL5D9HOI/s400/Worst+Picks.png" width="400" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">All safeties are effectively the same and mathematically should go in rounds 27 and 28.</td><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;"><br /></td></tr>
</tbody></table>
Safeties just don't provide great value. They're like TEs except there is no Gronk-equivalent. Still, there are roster spots to fill, and it's hard to leave holes open.<br />
<br />
Sean Lee is a great player, but not a great fantasy player. ADL is drafting with his heart (his dick?) instead of his brain. <br />
<br />
The three wide receivers and Dexter McCluster likely represent owners swinging for the fences. Nothing is certain in life, but McCluster, Blackmon, Robinson, and Jeffery are very unlikely to put up great numbers in 2012.<br />
<br />
<span style="font-size: large;"><i><b>By Position</b></i></span><br />
<table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto; text-align: center;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiOdcL_s1mBlYqmsMTzBmNUzzfagwQdvceCm9Ngo8l8iwGZoQWQa5LDEYi44XDhLCGZ3boiBUf0_ZL-r4zFzOCy2xtncaTSTw0JkVwOxEz-jCGndWnVl3wfFPqTbTMSMV7WffF1gGOTWwU/s1600/Best+Worst+Position.png" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="200" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiOdcL_s1mBlYqmsMTzBmNUzzfagwQdvceCm9Ngo8l8iwGZoQWQa5LDEYi44XDhLCGZ3boiBUf0_ZL-r4zFzOCy2xtncaTSTw0JkVwOxEz-jCGndWnVl3wfFPqTbTMSMV7WffF1gGOTWwU/s400/Best+Worst+Position.png" width="400" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">Fucking Marty B</td></tr>
</tbody></table>
This is mainly for fun, but it's interesting to look at where these players were drafted. The best and the worst values were taken just picks apart.<br />
<br />
<b><span style="font-size: large;">Playoff, Championship, and Taintsman Odds</span></b><br />
<br />
<table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto; text-align: center;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEivlGpRhT22AiflQaEFS6kUJUuYR8IqwNRn1PKPinu1zmQxBg2u60WEVsCH8pjIMcPHUHF87NJm4KhjNPthwtSwYOWcm4CREfgUT7JM3odhX6CzjKNSQBAVWdgMLFKM9qKW5oQfOOfthlA/s1600/2012+Season+Playoffs.png" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="153" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEivlGpRhT22AiflQaEFS6kUJUuYR8IqwNRn1PKPinu1zmQxBg2u60WEVsCH8pjIMcPHUHF87NJm4KhjNPthwtSwYOWcm4CREfgUT7JM3odhX6CzjKNSQBAVWdgMLFKM9qKW5oQfOOfthlA/s400/2012+Season+Playoffs.png" width="400" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">AFC ain't nothin' to fuck with</td></tr>
</tbody></table>
Well, there they are. My best guess at the shape of the season from the data I have.<br />
<br />
The AFC looks very strong this year, and the NFC looks to be very competitive. All five NFC teams made the playoffs with some regularity, with only RER separating himself as slight front-runner.<br />
<br />
Some interesting little artifacts emerged from the simulation. For instance, GMF is the favorite to win the championship as long as he makes the playoffs, but he's also the NFC's most likely Taintsman. He wasn't the only player with a bi-modal distribution, but his was by far the most pronounced.<br />
<br />
There are some other little peccadillos that I found, but I think I'm going to save those for later. <br />
<br />
<b><i>Alright guys, that's it for now.</i></b><br />
<b><i><br /></i></b>
<b><i>Let me know if there's anything else you'd like me to take a look at before Sunday and I'll give it a go.</i></b><br />
<b><i><br /></i></b>
<b><i>State of the League, Power Rankings, and much more to come!</i></b><br />
<b><i><br /></i></b>
<b><i>Please leave any and all comments, questions, or demands for additional analysis below.</i></b>Unknownnoreply@blogger.com3tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1921608603938415309.post-6838246488714933182012-09-05T23:10:00.000-05:002012-09-05T23:17:56.717-05:00COWS WIN!!!<table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto; text-align: center;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgk61vrF04ZFX5D7lXF9PlpCtXBlf-lmJnD9xzvHKrZlV29eQCZF7zjWsgWdZ2FRs8kg70gzxjKag3AnOMRlJcVRDYKzGSwUQejklMD_84DoTQS2FswJhyphenhyphenUzGizQvgIxRVvsrOjb76tJo0/s1600/SwansonAmerica.gif" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgk61vrF04ZFX5D7lXF9PlpCtXBlf-lmJnD9xzvHKrZlV29eQCZF7zjWsgWdZ2FRs8kg70gzxjKag3AnOMRlJcVRDYKzGSwUQejklMD_84DoTQS2FswJhyphenhyphenUzGizQvgIxRVvsrOjb76tJo0/s1600/SwansonAmerica.gif" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">America's Team AND God's Team</td></tr>
</tbody></table>
<br />
<table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto; text-align: center;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhxQpMvYbEhlKkhE1Ete_xljWNOezLEzYZRQaS-H1I531mKkCpQpsAXEJBMhOLY5jrifJcHTl0556PrlbrTwcAzQk12lH7Sgs3gt_nowfoOYYiivxAVAzsl-jMkLgTsUGXD8m0x8YpK36c/s1600/iopKiYLqpDial.gif" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhxQpMvYbEhlKkhE1Ete_xljWNOezLEzYZRQaS-H1I531mKkCpQpsAXEJBMhOLY5jrifJcHTl0556PrlbrTwcAzQk12lH7Sgs3gt_nowfoOYYiivxAVAzsl-jMkLgTsUGXD8m0x8YpK36c/s1600/iopKiYLqpDial.gif" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">OGLETREE!!!</td></tr>
</tbody></table>
<br />
<table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto; text-align: center;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEj6I6riM6SQfIEqVGoccIQxult5bQEI3hR5Dc7IKGxvC6n7hVWEYbYRxdWY1WKhXKOYlNeS7oK2-SG2QN4QN9uwGl6GOo9gMcYOOfVkdizhPRJTPGNYEc5QTJC7_Z9e9rlxHSOFJ97GrNQ/s1600/EReiy.gif" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEj6I6riM6SQfIEqVGoccIQxult5bQEI3hR5Dc7IKGxvC6n7hVWEYbYRxdWY1WKhXKOYlNeS7oK2-SG2QN4QN9uwGl6GOo9gMcYOOfVkdizhPRJTPGNYEc5QTJC7_Z9e9rlxHSOFJ97GrNQ/s1600/EReiy.gif" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">First and goal at the 1? NOT UP IN HERE!</td></tr>
</tbody></table>
<br />
<table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto; text-align: center;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEitxDzN_h_dJlRrjtzc9eoBW8_xrUUd3fdZWQMHyueF7gLJKPv4cVRB_hYsJBEne4YrCVVtVKKWHiYFZo2EDaJ_C7rMuKi-8IjnWFdsSu6M8JNOM6sodsCgcA02qYVpeXizDk7W4uw_SiM/s1600/tumblr_m8ofrkKeAb1qcfvzz.gif" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="299" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEitxDzN_h_dJlRrjtzc9eoBW8_xrUUd3fdZWQMHyueF7gLJKPv4cVRB_hYsJBEne4YrCVVtVKKWHiYFZo2EDaJ_C7rMuKi-8IjnWFdsSu6M8JNOM6sodsCgcA02qYVpeXizDk7W4uw_SiM/s400/tumblr_m8ofrkKeAb1qcfvzz.gif" width="400" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">DEZ can't go to the shake joint, but he can bring the shake joint to him.</td></tr>
</tbody></table>
<br />
<table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto; text-align: center;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgqmq4p116u8QC5QoeEjP877Wy12D1mea9OfacL4Qb2Wvqqz2nTs9HnFHXSQTcM9BGw1AF9ytbrihViFElPKMu-kqwHYSS26-wGb1RfqczfBZ2qloJtODW-noRWZUrdfk0rtzq4OuZXk9M/s1600/rogersterlingclap.gif" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgqmq4p116u8QC5QoeEjP877Wy12D1mea9OfacL4Qb2Wvqqz2nTs9HnFHXSQTcM9BGw1AF9ytbrihViFElPKMu-kqwHYSS26-wGb1RfqczfBZ2qloJtODW-noRWZUrdfk0rtzq4OuZXk9M/s1600/rogersterlingclap.gif" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">Overall, a superb effort. Very proud of the Boys.</td></tr>
</tbody></table>
It just tastes so good.Unknownnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1921608603938415309.post-90174673490185621602012-09-04T18:37:00.000-05:002012-09-05T00:53:23.399-05:002012 CABC Season Preview Preview!<table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto; text-align: center;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEi4DX0Z22zPBaVtgw_vii_ujEizRlohFPb1W0HmdgqVeknOiP5h1_DAbomC3ZyCBfZ3X1Rs0iL1uwPdFc_x6DDUlgpVbWACb3fRTyjxlRybtUzSUHnvz5je1s4ildjwqmLn1rh4XFZfsXw/s1600/not+16+anymore.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEi4DX0Z22zPBaVtgw_vii_ujEizRlohFPb1W0HmdgqVeknOiP5h1_DAbomC3ZyCBfZ3X1Rs0iL1uwPdFc_x6DDUlgpVbWACb3fRTyjxlRybtUzSUHnvz5je1s4ildjwqmLn1rh4XFZfsXw/s1600/not+16+anymore.jpg" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">Labor Day weekend was fun.</td></tr>
</tbody></table>
Full analysis tomorrow.<br />
<br />
But here's a little taste...<br />
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
</div>
<a name='more'></a>Team Overviews:<br />
<table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto; text-align: center;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhwWDTaM9G7wptPjjUzU4QOGZiVf2QsULN3xRdxkge-rZpVud-N0onrMgcG-ylS7DpMKoKz1TyUCPikT_l-IdVCyUXQsqPbCEPZ_Gk9kjIBGuXz_i5NQl_SJG7M_JdsrjaTk1fh2Zd676c/s1600/League+Overview.png" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="211" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhwWDTaM9G7wptPjjUzU4QOGZiVf2QsULN3xRdxkge-rZpVud-N0onrMgcG-ylS7DpMKoKz1TyUCPikT_l-IdVCyUXQsqPbCEPZ_Gk9kjIBGuXz_i5NQl_SJG7M_JdsrjaTk1fh2Zd676c/s400/League+Overview.png" width="400" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">Some of you are fucked.</td></tr>
</tbody></table>
But, ARB, you say, aren't these projections pretty much just wild guesses at this point?<br />
<br />
Here's last year's preseason projections lined up next to the final results. I calculated Pearson's R for the full league, then excluding one and two outliers. The results speak for themselves.<br />
<table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto; text-align: center;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgmI6PiK_KZMyKMgIoAFwHRBICQ43Tb9J6HHS404vaFEFkur7ZPQQXgcA1UCvVCS8sZTmAlEyOlGCiwHRcKg0JapRfjyGzUPLejpHZqFdUlT9-blINGsgMOoIrIzHiIuo93N-dvKvQDi-c/s1600/Projection+Correlation.png" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="272" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgmI6PiK_KZMyKMgIoAFwHRBICQ43Tb9J6HHS404vaFEFkur7ZPQQXgcA1UCvVCS8sZTmAlEyOlGCiwHRcKg0JapRfjyGzUPLejpHZqFdUlT9-blINGsgMOoIrIzHiIuo93N-dvKvQDi-c/s400/Projection+Correlation.png" width="400" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">Unless you are mathematically illiterate, then, this is pretty much meaningless.</td></tr>
</tbody></table>
So, unless your name is ADL, these projections ran your shit last year.<br />
<br />
Full draft analysis including best picks, worst picks, championship odds, playoff odds, Taintsman odds, depth grades, positional grades by team, and a whole lot more coming tomorrow.<br />
<br />
PS: Any and all Dallas-area CABCers or friends of the league should text me for details about the Cowboys watching party tomorrow.Unknownnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1921608603938415309.post-53018485671497503902012-09-04T16:52:00.000-05:002012-09-04T16:54:45.746-05:00If Streams Developed a Time Machine and Gained 25lbs. <div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgiuznagm817zbJPMWwAAOm46mHssEhDq2hM50dbCklLYLS7FjPbywj_Tuk94FcfzxmyRZdm-0kho_QjaGmGrPkRw6INseQ-qu3QLl1cMHm7GRjG7oJROgG8E4GNACtTCs6jEgsDpf4MmNg/s1600/tumblr_m9sjr0kzYo1qewacoo1_400.png" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left:1em; margin-right:1em"><img border="0" height="400" width="334" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgiuznagm817zbJPMWwAAOm46mHssEhDq2hM50dbCklLYLS7FjPbywj_Tuk94FcfzxmyRZdm-0kho_QjaGmGrPkRw6INseQ-qu3QLl1cMHm7GRjG7oJROgG8E4GNACtTCs6jEgsDpf4MmNg/s400/tumblr_m9sjr0kzYo1qewacoo1_400.png" /></a></div>
reederhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/00752913788427071680noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1921608603938415309.post-88703803602618237872012-09-04T11:11:00.000-05:002012-09-04T11:11:31.547-05:00Video: Kitten Pawing at an iPad<iframe width="560" height="315" src="http://www.youtube.com/embed/3ZsUmoZaivg" frameborder="0" allowfullscreen></iframe>reederhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/00752913788427071680noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1921608603938415309.post-86263795135650244232012-08-31T15:25:00.000-05:002012-08-31T15:27:02.748-05:00Let's Talk About Mike Wallace<table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto; text-align: center;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhv3nFLAJIr35D7II3_9ymsGxdMiEZUFKDbiLoyJLyYrcOrGpR_8tMouKg1TlPKPce9R1HvIzf9VezN29WNLyNzEV0OTwVLdwgcEY4c8FuU92wjWrtVleXc0U9cNJT9zJkF5PxbDMHQpM0/s1600/Gomez.gif" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="400" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhv3nFLAJIr35D7II3_9ymsGxdMiEZUFKDbiLoyJLyYrcOrGpR_8tMouKg1TlPKPce9R1HvIzf9VezN29WNLyNzEV0OTwVLdwgcEY4c8FuU92wjWrtVleXc0U9cNJT9zJkF5PxbDMHQpM0/s400/Gomez.gif" width="400" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">Did somebody say Mike Wallace???</td></tr>
</tbody></table>
Recently, I have come under attack from several league members for listing Mike Wallace as an elite player. Now, I ordinarily wouldn't even dignify your comments with a response, but this seemed like a special case. The vast majority of you play fantasy football like you're autistic kittens pawing at an iPad-- you have no idea what you're doing, you have no understanding of the rules, and your actions are harmlessly adorable.<br />
<br />
With that being said, I'm not going to show you all the models that predict greatness for Wallace. I won't bore you with comparables, or waste your time talking about what his ceiling could be.<br />
<a href="http://www.blogger.com/goog_1001181122"><br /></a>
<a href="http://www.grantland.com/blog/the-triangle/post/_/id/18362/free-agent-preview-mike-wallace" target="_blank">I'm gonna let Bill Barnwell do that.</a><br />
<br />
In closing, I'd like announce that Mike Wallace has officially been jinxed and that he will probably never play another down of football in his life.<br />
<br />
Please accept my invitation to go fuck yourselves.<br />
<br />
<table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto; text-align: center;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjOCLWv7C3yEW0Gex5QhDWZ_w1MPfb59yYr9I7TAz34YT61we4Sw-N6WBQM-uAdtudm6OOf1qOQpYPmsqxRsW0IeVz3CZSb8sVBFkRPvXQmCjwwaIEvI4v0WEhxTtARcvGtFFqydi940E4/s1600/tumblr_m2zlrnxYJH1qzlfz5.gif" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="292" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjOCLWv7C3yEW0Gex5QhDWZ_w1MPfb59yYr9I7TAz34YT61we4Sw-N6WBQM-uAdtudm6OOf1qOQpYPmsqxRsW0IeVz3CZSb8sVBFkRPvXQmCjwwaIEvI4v0WEhxTtARcvGtFFqydi940E4/s400/tumblr_m2zlrnxYJH1qzlfz5.gif" width="400" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">Several CABC members should probably wear a helmet at all times</td></tr>
</tbody></table>
Unknownnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1921608603938415309.post-37282182921287762862012-08-30T18:08:00.001-05:002012-08-30T18:08:36.524-05:00Regarding Streams' Obsession with Mike Wallace<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEh56OKeluDkcH1F2S_c8fn96Gaqy-AyddDH1W6hdH8kV-UuorXWy5QYuGKxenIuYIZz5UYjHuLei2w9xZsmFP6CneItBFVIS87jf7bJ8pvbf6FEo7PhuRz7kP7lhyphenhyphenhvaSJs1XwzzF9P4SHr/s1600/tumblr_m66vuxDJXz1rzaceno1_500.png" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="348" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEh56OKeluDkcH1F2S_c8fn96Gaqy-AyddDH1W6hdH8kV-UuorXWy5QYuGKxenIuYIZz5UYjHuLei2w9xZsmFP6CneItBFVIS87jf7bJ8pvbf6FEo7PhuRz7kP7lhyphenhyphenhvaSJs1XwzzF9P4SHr/s400/tumblr_m66vuxDJXz1rzaceno1_500.png" width="400" /></a></div>
<br />reederhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/00752913788427071680noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1921608603938415309.post-17947544574133848432012-08-30T18:01:00.000-05:002012-08-30T18:01:13.205-05:00SKC in 2033<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjV2gRQ5k2CxFu29Oiyvn1G200HIhYGhtTbigki3T95lzW40dlhkgECIFZ0c6WQTyz1JfdzaLzPa34iBF0szJTUKTjvqRWBuMvWUIRAu-A9wWpBGdERET2ZIcgmN5U1_li-6UrmAArpSYNu/s1600/tumblr_m83rcswSkU1qdli2fo1_400.png" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="134" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjV2gRQ5k2CxFu29Oiyvn1G200HIhYGhtTbigki3T95lzW40dlhkgECIFZ0c6WQTyz1JfdzaLzPa34iBF0szJTUKTjvqRWBuMvWUIRAu-A9wWpBGdERET2ZIcgmN5U1_li-6UrmAArpSYNu/s320/tumblr_m83rcswSkU1qdli2fo1_400.png" width="320" /></a></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiK7_Oa-RhrFuFeCTHVxZpH6ptRFJk5y8rlFTPM6BhXm9mC38kiEdZIbLF_0JL5UlU4nMctcYGogQzgVwvtIiDmvrzoEw545ohgzFmmbR8ifVLNvj2zNlEmtVtpkgGP71fV6ajkHvNgdP1r/s1600/tumblr_m83rcswSkU1qdli2fo2_500.png" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="300" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiK7_Oa-RhrFuFeCTHVxZpH6ptRFJk5y8rlFTPM6BhXm9mC38kiEdZIbLF_0JL5UlU4nMctcYGogQzgVwvtIiDmvrzoEw545ohgzFmmbR8ifVLNvj2zNlEmtVtpkgGP71fV6ajkHvNgdP1r/s320/tumblr_m83rcswSkU1qdli2fo2_500.png" width="320" /></a></div>
<br />reederhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/00752913788427071680noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1921608603938415309.post-58116272875450372252012-08-29T17:15:00.000-05:002012-08-29T23:28:40.350-05:00Sleepers and Sliders and Dares, Oh My! -- THE 2012 CABC Draft<table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto; text-align: center;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgw4gkaJMR8FKiZ1zSoSd-ZSnkERXReVvRsCfsB8QFSFPugxGUGw2rkGNNGlj3DTaF7s-oqDTazhbUz6qaUkIZKOvh_M6iMzJhLqgP6qjc-F60V8GUYAErrf5UHQHkptzG1oERdQFvZ0fM/s1600/2012+CABC+Draft+Group+Shot.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="476" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgw4gkaJMR8FKiZ1zSoSd-ZSnkERXReVvRsCfsB8QFSFPugxGUGw2rkGNNGlj3DTaF7s-oqDTazhbUz6qaUkIZKOvh_M6iMzJhLqgP6qjc-F60V8GUYAErrf5UHQHkptzG1oERdQFvZ0fM/s640/2012+CABC+Draft+Group+Shot.JPG" width="640" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">What an Apple commercial should really look like: A bunch of white people just fucking around.</td></tr>
</tbody></table>
It is with an open-heart that CABC league members welcomed each other for another year of fantasy football. With the taint of scandal hanging in the air, the league acted swiftly to restore order.<br />
<br />
Votes were held. Agreements were made. And jimmies were rustled.<br />
<br />
With voting completed and league matters decided, it was time to feast...<br />
<a name='more'></a><br />
<table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto; text-align: center;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEi98OQYyQSHHWLTtw517Yve8030qREBEyr0BqQLAMlYNHjMp5xQ_9Ko-icAKK_1kZSorBrH84_mwQCFyzFigZoMa7fltSiGN0sgcNnA_f4aG3KODTvqf7E9UqYh7blBcOzf82jQypSK1gY/s1600/2012+CABC+Draft+Sliders.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="400" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEi98OQYyQSHHWLTtw517Yve8030qREBEyr0BqQLAMlYNHjMp5xQ_9Ko-icAKK_1kZSorBrH84_mwQCFyzFigZoMa7fltSiGN0sgcNnA_f4aG3KODTvqf7E9UqYh7blBcOzf82jQypSK1gY/s400/2012+CABC+Draft+Sliders.JPG" width="297" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">Fact: You can only fit 53 Little Leaguers onto on half-sheet pan</td><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;"><br /></td></tr>
</tbody></table>
As demanded by the Football Gods, a sacrifice of good cholesterol was given eagerly by each player in the hope that the Gods might curry favor on their team. <br />
<br />
<table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto; text-align: center;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjjrW1AclynMGTE6XXxKz6g-wE7GYUh5U2_MbNwDlgEEJxqn9Dle1vTnczWPtEIbvfsTPJhLSSzMYSalUQ7HKEL60pBQo4ABjy463U59c4o54o_Mul7-x4QUz2fD4Irhp9eTtY0JSCIY78/s1600/2012+CABC+Draft+Whiskeys.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="298" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjjrW1AclynMGTE6XXxKz6g-wE7GYUh5U2_MbNwDlgEEJxqn9Dle1vTnczWPtEIbvfsTPJhLSSzMYSalUQ7HKEL60pBQo4ABjy463U59c4o54o_Mul7-x4QUz2fD4Irhp9eTtY0JSCIY78/s400/2012+CABC+Draft+Whiskeys.JPG" width="400" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">From left to right: Whisky, Whisky, Whiskey, Whisky, Whiskey, Whisky, Whiskey, and Whisky</td></tr>
</tbody></table>
Quite separately, the Draft Gods, who control everything from Vietnam to drafting LT, demanded a firewater tribute. The owners selected their offering carefully, as a man would choose a Grail. Let us hope they chose wisely.<br />
<br />
And so, having dealt with politics and religion, it was time to deal with business:<br />
<br />
With the first pick in the 2012 CABC Draft, GMF selects...<br />
<br />
Aaron "Photobombs, Jaegerbombs, and Tannenbaums" Rodgers<br />
<br />
<b><span style="font-size: large;">GMF, <i>Sam Hurd Criminal Master</i>, 1st</span></b><br />
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<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEg3nI51UyoGoNrRsCAM6WNn9pHIOV9WogLfb_z2qTwHI3BB4rq4knhS3rJHXShjKI6OE3DuzMzvVchIgLSu80Y4kOiJFW_44aw7RlfCSjStRKCYUbIJN-l8sf9yGnbPeH9eLfeBn7QE_rY/s1600/tumblr_m7qu58cs2m1qep0v4.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="300" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEg3nI51UyoGoNrRsCAM6WNn9pHIOV9WogLfb_z2qTwHI3BB4rq4knhS3rJHXShjKI6OE3DuzMzvVchIgLSu80Y4kOiJFW_44aw7RlfCSjStRKCYUbIJN-l8sf9yGnbPeH9eLfeBn7QE_rY/s400/tumblr_m7qu58cs2m1qep0v4.jpg" width="400" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">GMF, attorney at law.</td></tr>
</tbody></table>
<b>Best Pick: </b>Aaron Rodgers, QB, 1st Round. Hard to argue with this pick. Rodgers is in his prime, surrounded by weapons, and facing a moderate schedule.<br />
<b>Worst Pick:</b> Andre Johnson, WR, 2nd Round. Johnson is great player, there's no doubt about that. However, Matt Schaub sucks, and Johnson is the Texans' only receiver worth covering. And all of that good news is when he's not out for six games with a labia injury. There were far better players on the board.<br />
<b>Notable: </b>Antonio Brown, WR, 7th Round. Brown was all-world at the end of last year. If he continues his rise, the league needs to look out. <br />
<b><span style="font-size: large;"><br /></span></b>
<b><span style="font-size: large;">RER, <i>GOBIAS INDUSTRIES</i>, 2nd</span></b><br />
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<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEitTQpHjK1fvgQMJbKwOWi5JTfIidAG_iS13ow3Q30eJ6VohmECORJ8xHYTG5E5K8Ph9DvnFiNZEQ8OI-YyeC89yQaeA84nDOjOKM0xTX5QLBIQtkx8JZQ2soFwKx6A9iKZlTTRKeWTZzo/s1600/Screen+Shot+2012-08-28+at+7.07.04+PM.png" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="325" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEitTQpHjK1fvgQMJbKwOWi5JTfIidAG_iS13ow3Q30eJ6VohmECORJ8xHYTG5E5K8Ph9DvnFiNZEQ8OI-YyeC89yQaeA84nDOjOKM0xTX5QLBIQtkx8JZQ2soFwKx6A9iKZlTTRKeWTZzo/s400/Screen+Shot+2012-08-28+at+7.07.04+PM.png" width="400" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">"That's not two days growth dude. You're cheating. I know you're cheating."</td></tr>
</tbody></table>
<b>Best Pick: </b>Wes Welker, WR, 5th Round. Welker slipped down the draft due to rumors that he was being traded to Indianapolis. If Welker stays a Patriot, this was an incredible pick<br />
<b>Worst Pick:</b> Hakeem Nicks, WR, 4th Round. If you wanted a wide out, Mike Wallace, Brandon Marshall or Marques Colston were still available. Nicks is a reach here.<br />
<b>Notable: </b>Joe Flacco, QB, 9th Round. Flacco has all the physical tools of an elite QB. Coupled with a decent offensive line, strong running game, and legit deep threat, Flacco could surprise a lot of people.<br />
<br />
<b><span style="font-size: large;">JBF, <i>The Eloquent Assholes</i>, 3rd</span></b><br />
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<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgKteLrZt6qIwX_Qygt6gHU3B-F7dFCJOnBhYBPOFseBwRNvwoiFM62RgKPUVJBoMeA2r0tbrzw5xZK-1GCP83uyIfOHBTb3KSpuxuVe6a0mXebg4y-ZBNUmwqyjdwO8SMHtBR98mDQSrg/s1600/50shadesofgrey.png" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="333" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgKteLrZt6qIwX_Qygt6gHU3B-F7dFCJOnBhYBPOFseBwRNvwoiFM62RgKPUVJBoMeA2r0tbrzw5xZK-1GCP83uyIfOHBTb3KSpuxuVe6a0mXebg4y-ZBNUmwqyjdwO8SMHtBR98mDQSrg/s400/50shadesofgrey.png" width="400" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">Eloquent, indeed.</td></tr>
</tbody></table>
<b>Best Pick: </b>Chris Johnson, RB, 2nd Round. After being out of shape all of last year, I have Chris Johnson at the top of the 2nd tier backs. He's a candidate to breakout this year, and last year he wasn't even that bad. Getting the 4th best* running back with the 18th pick is a steal no matter what. (*ESPN had him 5th)<br />
<b>Worst Pick:</b> Victor Cruz, WR, 3rd Round. Cruz will be a case study in reverting to the mean in 2012. He's a good player, but his TD/Target metric was one of the highest in league history for the last half of 2011. He'll get decent production, but statistically Cruz won't even look like the same player.<br />
<b>Notable:</b> Robert Griffin III, QB, 5th Round. Here's a little stat for you to chew on: no QB ever drafted first or second has ever led their team to a record of .500 or better. Not since the draft has existed (pre-merger!). That being said, RG3 was the best amateur athlete in the state of Texas when he was recruited. In his final year of college, his 10.7 yards/attempt led the NCAA in passing, and he runs a 4.38. Despite RG3 being a Redskin, I really look forward to seeing what he can do.<br />
<br />
<b><span style="font-size: large;">RSR, <i>Mannings and Manatees</i>, 4th</span></b><br />
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<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgcJ0N2dfq7LlxrF6HhsEWUK5foEEaxM3f0QKFibnPXGuN01bVkRH8b-unS4riBX1fHFYiWOJ6-7NOCxjeJK6PShs96PpRRqei3VNRc_XT_Ge2Nz9dVuPB0OE8XRpJ1S2ctZPUVshNaFsw/s1600/funny-gif-Robert-Downey-Jr-head-cat.gif" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="400" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgcJ0N2dfq7LlxrF6HhsEWUK5foEEaxM3f0QKFibnPXGuN01bVkRH8b-unS4riBX1fHFYiWOJ6-7NOCxjeJK6PShs96PpRRqei3VNRc_XT_Ge2Nz9dVuPB0OE8XRpJ1S2ctZPUVshNaFsw/s400/funny-gif-Robert-Downey-Jr-head-cat.gif" width="386" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">You're welcome, RSR.</td></tr>
</tbody></table>
<b>Best Pick: </b>Jeremy Maclin, WR, 12th Round. Don't get me wrong, Maclin isn't an elite receiver, but he's still very good. Despite missing five games last season to injury, Maclin went 63 catches/ 859yards/ 5TDs. He's healthy now, and he'll see a lot of one-on-one this season. 12th Round was an absolute steal.<br />
<b>Worst Pick:</b> Josh Freeman, QB, 4th Round. By deciding to take Jimmy Graham in the 3rd round, RSR rolled the dice and prayed that a decent QB would be left in the 4th. <i>Snake eyes</i>. Don't worry, Big Ben went to a good home. Better luck next next year.<br />
<b>Notable:</b> Defense, Various Rounds. Listen to these names: Jared Allen, Von Miller, Roman Harper, Julius Peppers, and Antoine Bethea. Every one of them ranks in the top three at their position this year.<br />
<br />
<b><span style="font-size: large;">SKC, <i>Happy Valley Slapping Sounds</i>, 5th</span></b><br />
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<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEi2PtJIIwz0nTCLFdhCzGOj91wwTcfn9p52OP1AbxhVBqmDWt4OZPUrvWvci48Rc0B4YTo9BtnxYteQE5ibIHD-_9gKxo_6VlpgKai421ClTSswS9xi-JLTomrFW3WdCeraTHd6u6KlOjY/s1600/kenny-powers-dickslapping.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="282" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEi2PtJIIwz0nTCLFdhCzGOj91wwTcfn9p52OP1AbxhVBqmDWt4OZPUrvWvci48Rc0B4YTo9BtnxYteQE5ibIHD-_9gKxo_6VlpgKai421ClTSswS9xi-JLTomrFW3WdCeraTHd6u6KlOjY/s400/kenny-powers-dickslapping.jpg" width="400" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">Please leave any and all dick slapping to the professionals.</td></tr>
</tbody></table>
<b>Best Pick: </b>Ryan Matthews, RB, 6th Round. Let me hit you with some knowledge: Ryan Matthews missed 3 games last year due to injury, Mike Tolbert vultured every red zone TD, and Matthews STILL finished as a top-10 back last season. Now, Tolbert is gone and Matthews is coming back healthy in week 2. New for 2012! It's The Ryan Matthews Show, Sundays, coming to a field near you.<br />
<b>Worst Pick:</b> Dez Bryant, WR, 5th Round. It would be great if Dez had a breakout year, but with all his off the field problems, and his non-elite production, this was simply too high. Mike Wallace, a top-10 WR was still on the board. Inexcusable.<br />
<b>Notable: </b>Michael Crabtree, WR, 20th Round. The 49ers don't have a great passing game or a great QB, but Crabtree has elite physical skills. Nothing wrong with taking a chance on a guy in the 20th round.<br />
<br />
<b><span style="font-size: large;">BEN, <i>Empire Business</i>, 6th</span></b><br />
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<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiPpNBEiqb5wQR5QL26mWLMlvdn5lKixFFjIY7__Dzz3gpaztxldrT95gK1jdb-7KuzqkYLh-KhSNEPDKMk4k_a2OSTJwnWowmZUBJjABgIYA3bhL2FsuXJBfi9pYPvLQyyJwQMk8odMUQ/s1600/7135652661_44b0de3635_b-650x874.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="400" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiPpNBEiqb5wQR5QL26mWLMlvdn5lKixFFjIY7__Dzz3gpaztxldrT95gK1jdb-7KuzqkYLh-KhSNEPDKMk4k_a2OSTJwnWowmZUBJjABgIYA3bhL2FsuXJBfi9pYPvLQyyJwQMk8odMUQ/s400/7135652661_44b0de3635_b-650x874.jpg" width="296" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;"><a href="http://i.imgur.com/yIR6L.png" target="_blank">Everybody's gunning for the king</a></td></tr>
</tbody></table>
<b>Best Pick: </b>Matthew Stafford, QB, 1st Round. Of the QBs not named Brees, Rodgers, or Brady, only Stafford has a legitimate chance of leading the league in scoring this year. Megatron is in a class by himself. Brandon Pettigrew and Kevin Smith are also slated for a high number of targets. ESPN doesn't include 40 and 50+ TD bonuses in their projections, but they count in the games.<br />
<b>Worst Pick: </b>DeSean Jackson, WR, 5th Round. I feel like I'm taking crazy pills here. You should have drafted Mike Wallace. Jackson gets fewer targets, has a lower catch rate, has a lower red-zone target rate, and is generally not as good of a player. Jesus fucking Christ. <br />
<b>Notable: </b>Dwayne Bowe, WR, 12th Round. I have Dwayne Bowe ranked 8th among all receivers. I realize that this in an unpopular opinion, but I think Bowe is going to shock a lot of people. He gets tons of targets, has a high catch rate, and is insanely athletic. That's why there's so many songs about Dwayne Bowes.<br />
<br />
<span style="font-size: large;"><b>MMB, <i>Password is Taco</i>, 7th</b></span><br />
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<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjyEpaW3KdXwAxc9o4o2zMtL6t3tXaz2df3dbboJ1gqAGmvYGQmlIf2DDX7tuhnNCx4D_rU8sTGNNsvJ3DSct1IhUfGCrmwpMrs8EprZrKVTt54fpbkW1GN8HQH-maPcv_BLwdsdl89CbI/s1600/funny-gif-dog-chasing-ball.gif" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="311" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjyEpaW3KdXwAxc9o4o2zMtL6t3tXaz2df3dbboJ1gqAGmvYGQmlIf2DDX7tuhnNCx4D_rU8sTGNNsvJ3DSct1IhUfGCrmwpMrs8EprZrKVTt54fpbkW1GN8HQH-maPcv_BLwdsdl89CbI/s400/funny-gif-dog-chasing-ball.gif" width="400" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">Chasing the Dream</td></tr>
</tbody></table>
<b>Best Pick: </b>Maurice Jones Drew, RB, 2nd Round. MJD is the perfect fantasy running back. He's sturdy, he's dependable, and he fucking loves fantasy football. He attends conventions, drafts himself first in every league, and lobbies his coaches for more carries anytime he nears 100 yards. Love this guy.<br />
<b>Worst Pick:</b> Tyvon Branch, SAF, 13th Round. Branch is a fine safety, and I'm sure he plays well this season, but the difference between the #3 safety and the #22 safety is only 10 points.<br />
<b>Notable:</b> Defensive Role Players, Various. This team has only 2 QBs, 3 RBs, and 4 WRs and yet it boasts 3 DTs, 3 DEs, 3 LBs, 3 SAFs, and 3 CBs. Depth on offense looks a little thin, but uhh... Defense wins championships?<br />
<br />
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEitTQpHjK1fvgQMJbKwOWi5JTfIidAG_iS13ow3Q30eJ6VohmECORJ8xHYTG5E5K8Ph9DvnFiNZEQ8OI-YyeC89yQaeA84nDOjOKM0xTX5QLBIQtkx8JZQ2soFwKx6A9iKZlTTRKeWTZzo/s1600/Screen+Shot+2012-08-28+at+7.07.04+PM.png" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"></a></div>
<b><span style="font-size: large;">ARB, <i>Mammals Of The One Percent</i>, 8th</span></b><br />
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<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEg3hCt785tXJykiqCejzIdtoK2GN5GbavNylINv-JG3rSNzJLysh-r2BJPKPdFmlpulOE79vlrkicqRFTH-QD7RWA9QODxn3PSQnviqK2bVSOn3Kc8nl098XjfSTCM8C-7j-opIAvDZjyE/s1600/The+Upper+Handies.gif" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEg3hCt785tXJykiqCejzIdtoK2GN5GbavNylINv-JG3rSNzJLysh-r2BJPKPdFmlpulOE79vlrkicqRFTH-QD7RWA9QODxn3PSQnviqK2bVSOn3Kc8nl098XjfSTCM8C-7j-opIAvDZjyE/s1600/The+Upper+Handies.gif" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">One Percent Cat <i>belongs</i> at the top. Don't try to upset the natural order of things.</td></tr>
</tbody></table>
<br />
<b>Best Pick:</b> Aaron Hernandez, TE, 5th Round. Aaron Hernandez was the #3 TE in the league last year while Gronk was putting up all-time great numbers. Gronk is a media superstar now, and he's going to get doubled more often than not. Hernandez is an athletic freak playing WR/TE hybrid in an offense with plenty of targets to go around.<br />
<b>Worst Pick:</b> Brandon Lloyd, WR, 6th Round. Don't get me wrong. I love the idea Brandon Lloyd catching passes every week from Dreamboat. I really do. Sadly, the projections just don't agree with me, even when adjusting for scheme. That being said, Lloyd is going to own this year, numbers be damned.<br />
<b>Notable:</b> Christian Ponder, QB, 25th Round. The Vikings are terrible, and Peterson is basically the only game in town. This means Ponder is going to be throwing against single coverage for every throw of the season. You can never have too many QBs in this league, and I think he could do something this year.<br />
<br />
<b><span style="font-size: large;">ADL, <i>Repeat? I GOT THIS</i>, 9th</span></b><br />
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<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjiQMjPwjts9cyft0NUTT0lJO30q5242zQvF11U8B_00HB4fXkDUqBVed_M1qCq3tGEonUmd6Eosvpi7B2mAoHlZ0FScfICYezq_K1cp1VHeszy7x2Q9vtf_7eyr0-VfbzdIscsvHNX-Lc/s1600/ADL+preview+post.jpg" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="400" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjiQMjPwjts9cyft0NUTT0lJO30q5242zQvF11U8B_00HB4fXkDUqBVed_M1qCq3tGEonUmd6Eosvpi7B2mAoHlZ0FScfICYezq_K1cp1VHeszy7x2Q9vtf_7eyr0-VfbzdIscsvHNX-Lc/s400/ADL+preview+post.jpg" width="400" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">One day, ADL hopes to be rich enough to vote Democrat</td></tr>
</tbody></table>
<b><span style="font-size: large;"> </span>Best Pick:</b> Matt Ryan, QB, 2nd Round. Matty Ice is going to be huge this year. Julio Jones, Roddy White, and Tony Gonzales are just an embarrassment of riches when you factor in the running game. I expect him to throw no less than 10 50+yard TDs this season.<br />
<b>Worst Pick:</b>
Sean Lee, LB, 9th Round. Sean Lee is a fantastic actual football player. As a fantasy guy? Not so much. He just doesn't play one of the positions that we reward in this league. Too few tackles, too few sacks, too few TFLs all add up to a below-average fantasy linebacker.<br />
<b>Notable: </b>Reggie Bush, RB, 16th Round. Bush is an elite athlete playing on a mediocre team. However, his touches have been increasing and his averages have always been good. If he really becomes the guy in Miami, I think he'll put up top 10 numbers.<br />
<br />
<span style="font-size: large;"><b>SKR, <i>Baiters Gonna 'Bait</i>, 10th</b></span><br />
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<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhEYm93Q3AybXXFeJA2IIu5NWkhF2XXTK9Wb4yy_7ySAOgk2wD5rNbydopqMDF94wAIuuMJGhBkeLsqmdQx2xBdfQuOTMYO2cccKQgGnMxPVv-oZNh_FzHZO7bW4O0aEO0K28GGf4AfSa4/s1600/must+be+new+here+SKR.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="400" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhEYm93Q3AybXXFeJA2IIu5NWkhF2XXTK9Wb4yy_7ySAOgk2wD5rNbydopqMDF94wAIuuMJGhBkeLsqmdQx2xBdfQuOTMYO2cccKQgGnMxPVv-oZNh_FzHZO7bW4O0aEO0K28GGf4AfSa4/s400/must+be+new+here+SKR.jpg" width="313" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">Never draft Vick in the first round</td></tr>
</tbody></table>
<b>Best Pick:</b> Ryan Fitzpatrick, QB, 12th Round. Fitzpatrick is not even very good, but he's OK. Anytime you can get a decent QB in the 12th round, that's a huge win. It's difficult to put into words just how important this pick is until you read the next section. <br />
<b>Worst Pick:</b>
Michael Vick, QB, 1st Round. Michael Vick is like a hot supermodel who's into crazy shit into the bedroom and buys you sportscars for fun. Michael Vick is like that supermodel if that supermodel was also a serial killer who only killed her boyfriends. You can point to everything good about Michael Vick in the world, and then I will point to his injury history, and then you will have a sad. Michael Vick murders teams. <br />
<b>Notable: </b>Darrius Heyward-Bey, WR, 11th Round. Don't look now but Heyward-Bey might not be as bad as everyone seems to think is. Heyward-Bey put up 975 yards last year with a disinterested (at best) quarterback. Carson Palmer is in great shape by all accounts, and Heyward Bey is looking good. I'm not expecting 15 a game or anything, but this guy is gonna drop 35 one week and shut everybody up. <i><b><br /></b></i>
<i><b>Don't change that dial. Full team previews are coming at you like 3D porno.</b></i>Unknownnoreply@blogger.com5tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1921608603938415309.post-50177022006570590722012-08-26T11:00:00.000-05:002012-08-26T11:00:06.294-05:00DRAFT NIGHT!<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgL75hVrQ6VBrp40klj3MS1SL4L3lDbQGw349QxJMCe48gB4Fa7Xe-GlJ5n2W7Qw_YGfVXwZLvrEVyhI2UsG8TSqmqx6CVfb2C0k6AdV441VIjBDwYrquuRopFKlxYPcNPxPYn8zXpfIR4Y/s1600/tumblr_m955cwIxns1qzjg61o1_500.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="271" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgL75hVrQ6VBrp40klj3MS1SL4L3lDbQGw349QxJMCe48gB4Fa7Xe-GlJ5n2W7Qw_YGfVXwZLvrEVyhI2UsG8TSqmqx6CVfb2C0k6AdV441VIjBDwYrquuRopFKlxYPcNPxPYn8zXpfIR4Y/s400/tumblr_m955cwIxns1qzjg61o1_500.jpg" width="400" /></a></div>
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Additionally...</div>
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<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiJZ_Mi1SKONDtlp-lKM9Emn6bgDZPbkY3eh6FxHMkUplXv-fROMLJp-Dh7YQJJOEl2-1LZKYeZ3cC0NnjHGuaH7IZQD3wb6ON0o3NlbtcE82TUoPYRKcJMDCrWBv8e0SWMZCKUq7sMyciM/s1600/tumblr_lsa85xZEZK1qayl4jo1_500.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="240" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiJZ_Mi1SKONDtlp-lKM9Emn6bgDZPbkY3eh6FxHMkUplXv-fROMLJp-Dh7YQJJOEl2-1LZKYeZ3cC0NnjHGuaH7IZQD3wb6ON0o3NlbtcE82TUoPYRKcJMDCrWBv8e0SWMZCKUq7sMyciM/s320/tumblr_lsa85xZEZK1qayl4jo1_500.jpg" width="320" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">I will select this miniature manatee with my 4th pick. Plan accordingly. </td></tr>
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reederhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/00752913788427071680noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1921608603938415309.post-16902497621939563062012-08-24T14:14:00.002-05:002012-08-24T14:14:45.665-05:00BIRD LAW<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
I'm legitimately discussing Bird Law in class right now.</div>
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<iframe allowfullscreen='allowfullscreen' webkitallowfullscreen='webkitallowfullscreen' mozallowfullscreen='mozallowfullscreen' width='320' height='266' src='https://www.youtube.com/embed/eEFB0ozhcUU?feature=player_embedded' frameborder='0'></iframe></div>
<br />Greghttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14946683126976340025noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1921608603938415309.post-56756836375143049452012-08-22T22:27:00.000-05:002012-08-22T22:27:54.407-05:00"Film": The AftermathCABC:
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiRSWGhfjTd9kozZjYymSoWxJU_7Am7I043eTIq4RTxrFKssisx53pyFUlpFCF57lvvcI7Do6G2UJNifD6PL5rl_pESxOqvDeRb3ua38yfuu6JLLiN3eJny7cmTqAzAOVT1xoPuxqcAKuI/s1600/CABC.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="232" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiRSWGhfjTd9kozZjYymSoWxJU_7Am7I043eTIq4RTxrFKssisx53pyFUlpFCF57lvvcI7Do6G2UJNifD6PL5rl_pESxOqvDeRb3ua38yfuu6JLLiN3eJny7cmTqAzAOVT1xoPuxqcAKuI/s400/CABC.jpg" width="400" /></a></div>
<br />
ARB:<br />
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiR5OYm4AoBolzcbU36IN83a0Iz9-GLSy-xU672ou8PBsmsfHrKEmbdiAxpTqof6CftF3YBHuksUDdGM6UiLOOhoPF3sqgeEC-kh-T2gqFqJl6IDcb5dBDDXyQr0aOEzLMoEh5E84W0OvU/s1600/ried-troll.gif" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="225" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiR5OYm4AoBolzcbU36IN83a0Iz9-GLSy-xU672ou8PBsmsfHrKEmbdiAxpTqof6CftF3YBHuksUDdGM6UiLOOhoPF3sqgeEC-kh-T2gqFqJl6IDcb5dBDDXyQr0aOEzLMoEh5E84W0OvU/s400/ried-troll.gif" width="400" /></a></div>
<br />Unknownnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1921608603938415309.post-62053909459075214162012-08-21T12:14:00.001-05:002012-08-21T12:19:50.366-05:00Bringing Back the SKCEver since <i>Hipster Seasonal</i> typewrote about Blogspot becoming too mainstream with GMail-esque improvements, one author has neglected CABC's Ashburn, VA's Award-winning Blog.<br />
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<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="http://www.blogger.com/goog_518682249" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="131" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgtLZyj6uwBbAnIhPThmliHIKx9b_RGnYZUROAMSLg1rJnKhGjQYXzHecUDDd7pC3qODXRABP0iej8uW6BgQGO-1NmcVRZBIz5MOkFwVOOOeFPYqUZrkg-ovbp4lEl8wIHuXPcRCousNos5/s640/StanCunn.bmp" width="640" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://www.google.com/search?q=STANLEY+CUNNINGHAM&oe=utf-8&aq=t&rls=org.mozilla:en-US:official&client=firefox-a&um=1&ie=UTF-8&hl=en&tbm=isch&source=og&sa=N&tab=wi&ei=PMIzUKeiK-Xq2QXTw4CoBw&biw=1263&bih=712&sei=PsIzUOjzGKad2QWU84C4CA" target="_blank">The Many Faces of SKC</a></td></tr>
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Seasons removed from the Blog, SKC may have lost his English-major touch. I have come up with a few pieces that SKC could feature in the upcoming CABC year.
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<a name='more'></a><ul>
<li><b>Last Night on BAD Duty</b></li>
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<li>SKC's daily recount of the previous night's shootings, cigarette breaks on fixed gear bikes, and chocolate shop mishaps in the D of Bishop Arts</li>
</ul>
</ul>
<ul>
<li> <b>Sweet and Sour KPMG Intern Interests</b></li>
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<li>SKC rehashes the tales of his favorite race and age group</li>
</ul>
</ul>
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<li><b> Gags and Giggles</b></li>
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<li>SKC retells jokes that children told him </li>
</ul>
</ul>
<ul>
<li><b>Wildlife Watch</b></li>
<ul>
<li> SKC details his horrific encounters with Dallas' fiercest urban critters</li>
</ul>
</ul>
reederhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/00752913788427071680noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1921608603938415309.post-35408586774327649772012-08-19T20:37:00.002-05:002012-08-19T20:54:50.295-05:00CABC Draft Order: A History<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhhDilfL319Xp1ecuXTZUWwmrRWakyeYsntiJDYW6RTIyvgEJJ1M785yZSs0TRCOOkdbuxXxYMVU5WX2EhC2qc8dpki8fhge2tp6pybC_mJ3j4DiCTg6Qt9W7gTAML0NnsYV0aZ4YOfCy4/s1600/allmychildrenequally.gif" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="230" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhhDilfL319Xp1ecuXTZUWwmrRWakyeYsntiJDYW6RTIyvgEJJ1M785yZSs0TRCOOkdbuxXxYMVU5WX2EhC2qc8dpki8fhge2tp6pybC_mJ3j4DiCTg6Qt9W7gTAML0NnsYV0aZ4YOfCy4/s400/allmychildrenequally.gif" width="400" /></a></div>
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With the F. brothers sitting at 1 and 3 respectively, and at the request of a concerned league member, I decided to take a historical look at how the draft order has played out.<br />
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Let's take a stroll down memory lane...<br />
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In the interest of fairness, I decided to look at two measures of luck: "Luck Factor" and "Distance to 1st"<br />
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Luck Factor is an easy indicator to see if you've been more lucky or less lucky than par. Negative scores indicate you've been lucky, positive scores indicate you got screwed.<br />
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Distance to 1st is the number of picks you were away in any given year from having the first pick. Lower is better and all scores are positive.<br />
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For 2012, the scores look like this:<br />
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEg21_tU4Ru7iNXOeL48uOjGDQAA40ZjvfQF92QAuyhoPftqLtHbsreWZ-d5fsf-vbUuPom6Vux9h6Gxw0dYHbdN1qZ0HHauO1h77Jc2X5VDKhqkeeoMIIOM-N8_oiN1J_QboRYx2Sp-PsE/s1600/Luck+Factor.png" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="207" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEg21_tU4Ru7iNXOeL48uOjGDQAA40ZjvfQF92QAuyhoPftqLtHbsreWZ-d5fsf-vbUuPom6Vux9h6Gxw0dYHbdN1qZ0HHauO1h77Jc2X5VDKhqkeeoMIIOM-N8_oiN1J_QboRYx2Sp-PsE/s400/Luck+Factor.png" width="400" /></a></div>
The data summary for the "Modern Era" (2009-) looks like this:<br />
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEg2AUdQqypj5dZ8qMnUt1cIH_FNcsubB7e2iC-4melc_Ntuzk0xJM46gjBqoNo1B_Qx9JI0jeZmLTEwR_HLEHxdb9SeCA-F112LtM7uwNN_O2XYLGJba-wlWm4bBmLLzr4hOBB39XOC-d0/s1600/Modern+Era.png" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="240" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEg2AUdQqypj5dZ8qMnUt1cIH_FNcsubB7e2iC-4melc_Ntuzk0xJM46gjBqoNo1B_Qx9JI0jeZmLTEwR_HLEHxdb9SeCA-F112LtM7uwNN_O2XYLGJba-wlWm4bBmLLzr4hOBB39XOC-d0/s640/Modern+Era.png" width="500" /></a></div>
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The data summary since the inception of the league looks like this:<br />
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEj73k_zWERP6QT0Nw0xy8CcxDhRMQRpyCwJerJR4UaQeY0ZjLs8g2q18VN12XYLJLTxM-_DmPvtnD3wtUuwIgSx12ZOruZB4t3c4IZl1sbC8VELY9UHKD3yY1q7l1pGh7PY1TX3D8JiG70/s1600/Historical+2.png" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="240" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEj73k_zWERP6QT0Nw0xy8CcxDhRMQRpyCwJerJR4UaQeY0ZjLs8g2q18VN12XYLJLTxM-_DmPvtnD3wtUuwIgSx12ZOruZB4t3c4IZl1sbC8VELY9UHKD3yY1q7l1pGh7PY1TX3D8JiG70/s640/Historical+2.png" width="500" /></a></div>
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There have been 70 total 1st round picks in league history, and here's how they broke down:<br />
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QB: 29, RB: 28, WR: 3. Peyton Manning, Tom Brady, and Drew Brees have all been selected in the first round 5 times. Adrian Peterson and Tony Romo were selected 4 times. Only LT and Aaron Rodgers were selected 3 times.<br />
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As for our personal tastes, ARB drafted Peyton Manning three times. Several players have taken the same player twice: BEN, Aaron Rodgers; JBF, Tony Romo; SKC, Carson Palmer; and SKR, Adrian Peterson. No wide receiver has been taking in the first round of the modern era.<br />
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A cursory glance at the modern era statistics indicate what we pretty much knew already: Mrs. F likes GMF, SKC, and BEN, but does not care for ARB or MMB. RER was a wildcard his first two years, but it seems like he's made a strong impression in the last twelve months.<br />
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<i>Does draft position correlate with points scored? Wins? Playoffs?</i><br />
<i><br /></i>
<i>Is it better to be last and get back to back picks? Which position is statistically "worst"?</i><br />
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Those, my darlings, are questions for another day.<br />
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I'm gonna go have a drink and try to pretend that Mrs. F isn't actively plotting my demise.Unknownnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1921608603938415309.post-56285546969698893282012-08-19T14:46:00.002-05:002012-08-19T14:50:31.878-05:00Drumroll please.................And now, I give to you the 2012 CABC Draft Order as determined by the accounting firm of BHF & George.<br />
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEi3xm0knGf1-l9feON0DBnHBsgCV5HI8-0ET7oi_jhUki5Ao6oKVG4hl5rjw20Gdkxp-elMzmnZMvgpfOwciMwFb-5yJ__2cLIWzRcXY6eeZ2Yld0MKkTsvMcC5T1QEb8yApBF8JiBImJYE/s1600/KlXSG.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="247" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEi3xm0knGf1-l9feON0DBnHBsgCV5HI8-0ET7oi_jhUki5Ao6oKVG4hl5rjw20Gdkxp-elMzmnZMvgpfOwciMwFb-5yJ__2cLIWzRcXY6eeZ2Yld0MKkTsvMcC5T1QEb8yApBF8JiBImJYE/s400/KlXSG.jpg" width="400" /></a></div>
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Best of luck to all of you!</div>
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<b>1: GMF</b></div>
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<b>2: RER</b></div>
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<b>3: JBF</b></div>
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<b>4: RSR</b></div>
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<b>5: SKC</b></div>
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<b>6: BEN</b></div>
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<b>7: MMB</b></div>
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<b>8: ARB</b></div>
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<b>9: ADL</b></div>
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<b>10: SKR</b></div>
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<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEh5GZ9o-qmHGqyr7koh3HMk8FE3hFrTN9W6bSXk8foTbJXecuTHBL4u9bKCSSuyUILwV01ty8atIQFB3wBCBD4WxiX_R0yR_tjlLEBzy5L92gdn7dRU3kki6QRjOQmpGE4uuoqjX_wVljfz/s1600/g9u2Y.gif" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="222" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEh5GZ9o-qmHGqyr7koh3HMk8FE3hFrTN9W6bSXk8foTbJXecuTHBL4u9bKCSSuyUILwV01ty8atIQFB3wBCBD4WxiX_R0yR_tjlLEBzy5L92gdn7dRU3kki6QRjOQmpGE4uuoqjX_wVljfz/s400/g9u2Y.gif" width="400" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">Shep right now</td></tr>
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Unknownnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1921608603938415309.post-1478715668596431222012-08-18T19:41:00.002-05:002012-08-18T19:47:05.605-05:00Preseason Game 2: Can you feel it?<iframe allowfullscreen="allowfullscreen" frameborder="0" height="315" src="http://www.youtube.com/embed/ykuTKwbRwF0" width="560"></iframe>
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After an absolute barn-burner in the first preseason game, the Cowboys are back.<br />
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Let's hope that our offensive line made of scotch tape and tissue paper holds up.<br />
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GET PUMPED!!! NOTHING LIKE PRESEASON FOOTBALL!!!<br />
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiKwpBAGAzHFr2dkAS4K_49YlAs4mTFQTCT5lcaxzwz62dsezSmBF18Ulngf12siWUW7VQkH1cyeXdGY47DXdvNWeGZ4JAIEcL9rItbI4aLlTe3vKISPBY2uaSie6XYyshOcvI2TDVOIcM/s1600/superdrunk.png" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="241" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiKwpBAGAzHFr2dkAS4K_49YlAs4mTFQTCT5lcaxzwz62dsezSmBF18Ulngf12siWUW7VQkH1cyeXdGY47DXdvNWeGZ4JAIEcL9rItbI4aLlTe3vKISPBY2uaSie6XYyshOcvI2TDVOIcM/s400/superdrunk.png" width="400" /></a></div>
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjYKUdnNG2bSDWQxAnPUygAReV345zleDBQmG7fydCCr6Yn1XM7tZh2BWnEBx-4EzQVA8MaH0qadkK7pkObKOSnVxjbAo8yzbDJngsdh5UTfWT3dnP6LWRWvU1s7mx2-BtGTveyvaI5REE/s1600/charlie+getting+pumped.gif" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="278" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjYKUdnNG2bSDWQxAnPUygAReV345zleDBQmG7fydCCr6Yn1XM7tZh2BWnEBx-4EzQVA8MaH0qadkK7pkObKOSnVxjbAo8yzbDJngsdh5UTfWT3dnP6LWRWvU1s7mx2-BtGTveyvaI5REE/s400/charlie+getting+pumped.gif" width="400" /></a></div>
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Unknownnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1921608603938415309.post-7619970454421339592012-08-16T21:43:00.001-05:002012-08-16T21:44:45.252-05:00Courage and Honor<iframe allowfullscreen="allowfullscreen" frameborder="0" height="236" src="http://www.youtube.com/embed/g_MOpySFrhM" width="420"></iframe><br />
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CABC and SM's own Sam Acho acting like the gentleman that he is.Unknownnoreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1921608603938415309.post-21711724837837059732012-08-13T16:48:00.000-05:002012-08-13T17:43:06.481-05:00THE DOUBLE J RISES<span id="goog_2139812482"></span><span id="goog_2139812483"></span><i>Inside JerryWorld</i><br />
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<b>Jason Garrett:</b> TELL ME ABOUT GOODELL! WHY DOES HE WEAR THE MASK???<br />
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<b>Sean Payton:</b> [fearful silence]<br />
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<i>Garrett executes Gregg Williams</i><br />
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<b>Sean Payton:</b> Whatever you do to me, he'll do worse.<br />
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<b>Roger Goodell:</b> Right you are, brother!<br />
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<b>Garrett:</b> Ahh! How the fuck did you get in here?<br />
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<b>Goodell:</b> That is none of your concern! The fire rises.<br />
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<b>Garrett:</b> What the fuck are you talking about?<br />
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<b>Goodell:</b> Your punishment must be more severe!<br />
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<i>Grabs Garrett, tattoos "8-8 FOREVER" on his forehead.</i><br />
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<b>The Goddamn Double J:</b> Unhand that ginger faggot!<br />
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<b>Goodell:</b> Mr. Jones! I am the Cowboys' reckoning. You will watch as your team misses the playoffs and when Cowboys Stadium is ashes, then, Mr. Jones, then you have my permission get drunk and fire your coach.<br />
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<b>The Goddamn Double J:</b> We've got two new stud cornerbacks. Romo is a GODDAMN star. DeMarcus is the NFL sack KING! We're winnin' it all this year! Nothing you can do will stop me!<br />
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<b>Goodell:</b> You realize I must kill you now.<br />
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<b> The Goddamn Double J:</b> Help me Wolfman Rob!<br />
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<b>Wolfman Rob:</b> [howls angrily]<br />
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<b>Goodell:</b> NOTHING CAN STOP ME!!!<br />
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<b>The Goddamn Double J: </b>YEEEHAWWWW!!! I AM FUCKING CRAZY!!!<br />
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<b>Garrett:</b> Do you ever miss it here, Sean?<br />
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<b>Payton:</b> No.Unknownnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1921608603938415309.post-36948162841827026682012-08-07T22:19:00.000-05:002012-08-07T22:19:43.250-05:00Where Are They Now? [Part Two]<br />
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<b>SKR, Baiters Gonna Bait (6-8)</b></div>
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I found this on King's bedside table. Nuff said.</div>
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<span style="font-family: inherit;"><b>MMB, Afternoon Hangover (7-7)</b><o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: inherit;">Afternoon Hangover narrowly missed the playoffs in 2011. Plagued by a string of phantom illnesses, it has been a
dark few months for MMB. Following an ugly breakup, MB signed up for a free
two-week trial on ChristianMingle.com. There he met a string of women hoping to
get lucky and clear his mind. Unfortunately, the Lord works in mysterious ways
and after 14 days, all Mark had was a serious case of blue balls. MMB has now
switched over to AdultFriendFinder with the handle “HOTTER_TWIN214”.</span><o:p></o:p></div>
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<b>ADL, Repeat? I Got This! (9-5)</b><br />
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After a crushing defeat in the 2011 championship game, no
one has seen or heard from ADL. If you have any information concerning his
whereabouts, please contact the authorities.<o:p></o:p></div>
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<b>JBF, Stabbin Dude (7-7)</b></div>
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Don’t look now, but JBF may finally have his shit together.
For a few years, he seemed destined for a life of watching daytime television and
CAM-ing. Now he is qualified for a career in watching daytime television and
CAM-ing. Jeff says he is most excited about getting to sleep in before games
this season. <o:p></o:p></div>
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<b>RSR, Kittens Riding Turtles (7-7)</b><o:p></o:p></div>
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Always content to sit around and look at photos of adorable
animals, that seems to be exactly what RSR has done the entire offseason. Yet
somehow, this translated into only FOUR posts between February and August. My
question is where are these animals that he has no doubt been hoarding. RSR has
been caught biglering on the job, and I for one demand that he make up for lost
time. <o:p></o:p></div>
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<br />Unknownnoreply@blogger.com0