CABC 2011: WEEK 5 PREVIEW

COME EARLY, BE LOUD, STAY LATE: It's CABC's Week 5 and OU Still Sucks.

My Spirit Animal is the Acho

First - Scoregate. Now - All the Megatron's Men

While the numbers don't lie, Bye Week's victory has led to a controversy along the lines of last year's Scoregate scandal. After a quick consultation with honorary league uterus, Ms. TCBigs, it would seem that we have a definitive (hypothetical) answer on this week's league review. 

Why All These $%^&*ing Injuries are Good for the Cowboys

Whether or not you think the Cowboys victory yesterday over the mighty Alex Smith might be pyrrhic (I say no), there are definite casualties on the Blue and Silver side of the ball.  Besides the litany of injuries the Cowboys sustained in their preseason and game one, it now looks like the Alien Austin might be out through the bye week and at best, it looks like Felix Jones may play in the home opener, albeit seeing diminished carries while trying to regain full strength.  Tony Romo is playing with a (delicious) broken rib.  That’s nothing to say of the multitude of injuries on the offensive line and in the secondary, which seem to be changing on an hourly basis.  I’m tempting fate as I say it, but it would be hard to get worse as far as injuries go.

Next time try the pulled shoulder; I hear it's tender.

Here comes the shaky logic: admist the chaos and pain, I see a team, who by the trial of fire brought upon its youngest and most inexperienced players, will emerge stronger and more driven.  No one thought at the beginning of the season that the Boys would be able to make it to the playoffs this year, even less so now.  But by taking the blows up front, they might find themselves primed for a competitive run sooner than otherwise expected.

Let’s look at it from several angles:

Like Brooks Needs an Apology...

Nate Kaeding didn't even send me a card. 

I can speak for ARB when I say, a bottle of 12-yr single malt will do just fine, Roderick.

I know it was you Mark. You broke my heart.

Everyone is free to participate in the poll be you from the Bay Area or, I dunno, the greater Washington DC Area.

Looking Back on my BDay

I love lobster rolls more than you love anything.

I ate a lobster roll before lunch today. I shot 82 on a championship course from the tournament tees. I had dinner at my favorite restaurant. I had Starbucks two times. I am currently drinking my favorite drink.

Sometimes the world is a fantastic place.

I just crunched some numbers in Excel...

And I determined that 92.432% of my photos are of ARB drinking or drunked. Attached are some of the most character-filled photos of the Captain of the HMS Fancy Boy.

I submit for your consideration:

Monday Night Football Week 0

Tonight, in the Fortress of Solitude, the finest gentlemen in the land will draft the 26 warriors (plus one kicker and one head coach) that will fight for them this year for the title of Can't All Be Cowboys Champion Extreme. Once again, the accounting firm of BHF & George conducted a random draw of owners and draft positions to determine the order.

The envelope please.

With the First Pick in the 2010 CABC Draft, Mr. S+an Cunningham.

The rest of the order is as follows.

2. BEN

3. MMB

4. GMF

5. SKR

6. ARB

7. RSR

8. ADL

9. JBF

10. RER

For those attending tonight's event please arrive at 7pm as the first pick will be at 7:30pm. Food and drank will be provided. BYO Computer. Entertainment for the evening will be supplied by the Boise State Broncos and Virginia Tech Hokies.

Please Note: No More than 3 Spreadsheets Per Person.

ps pls rsvp asap. I look forward to seeing you all this evening.

It's called Intimidation

Upon reflecting this past regular season, I understood around Week 7 as to why I had dominated the league so ferociously.

INTIMIDATION

boom woaaaah ssstamp!

I didn't want anyone to know about this insight, so I kept it secret. Destined to lose with Matty and Mickey out, even to the Dutch Rudder, I still withheld revealing the source of my success. If Beary loses to me in the postseason, that is just downright pathetic.

Also, Brooks had the highest PA with 2375, 83 points higher than the top PF, which was also Brooks.