Saturday, October 29, 2011


Guess, what guys? The Stars are 7-3 and leading the Pacific Division! Plenty of room on the bandwagon. Halloween is on Monday and I would bet that half of you either have not yet figured out your costume or will be abstaining altogether [I’m looking at you, Greg]. Follow the jump to get this week’s preview and some last minute costume advice.

Hangover (2-5) at Clipboard (2-5)
Now that we have hit the season’s halfway point, the battle for the title of Taintsman has started to heat up. The Clipboard and Hangover face each other in their first rivalry game this season. But while MMB is trying to keep his head above water, Kelly could find himself in the NFC playoff discussion with a win. I think SKC should dress up as Justin Timberlake because like the former N’Sync-ster, Mr. C hasn’t had any hits since his victory of 2007. Newman would be a great costume for MB. Sometimes we really can’t stand their antics, but they’re often vital as the punch line of a joke.

Raditude (3-4) at Bye Week (4-3)
JBF is on a two game skid while RER’s stock continues to rise as he cruised to his fourth straight victory last week. 12th Round selection Cam Newton and Megatron have combined for more than 1/3 of the Bye Week’s points this season. But with an injured running back corps and Jordy Nelson resting at home, RER won’t have it easy trying to take down A Stabbin Dude, who would be doing shame to himself and his family if he did not dress like Herman Cain. As an avid SimCity Mayor (Ballsville, MD Pop: 3.8 Million), JBF was all too familiar with Cain’s 999 plan. He liked it even more when it was a special deal for a trio of 2-topping large pizzas on Tuesdays Carry-Out Only. RER has to pull off something spooky, like making masks of all the troll guy faces. That way he wouldn’t have to say anything, he could just change faces depending on the mood of the moment.
Baiters (3-4) at Airboats (4-3)
The Baiters lucked out in his week 7 win over his jerk trade-buddy, RSR. Tebow came through in the clutch last week and Jennings did what Jennings do. Now with Fitzpatrick and CJ in the game it is time to see how this team will fare without Peterson leading the way. Ray Rice is looking to make up for his performance last week and should have no trouble in this home game against the Cardinals. I know that he has been busy recently with his new job, but SKR promised me he was going to post something to CABC this week. Seems like everyone has been letting me down recently. I think the Baiters should remember a much scummier time in their life and channel his inner Keith Stone on Halloween. No sleeves, a mustache, and beer—shouldn’t be too difficult. And someone’s got to go sexy right? ARB all the way baby. I suggest he go as a newly confirmed priest who tells hot chicks he’s never had sex before. There are enough freaky/drunk Catholic boys girls who will fall for that gag and I think he’s just the man for the job.  

Tit Gypsies (3-4) at Turtles (2-5)
Boasting a revamped offense, the Turtles should have no trouble dispatching their opponent this weekend, especially with Murray becoming the feature back for the Cowboys. Fred Jackson returns for the Tit Gypsies, but it might not be enough to overcome the rest of his mediocre lineup. I think that GMF would make a great Ron Swanson. Since he is usually reluctant to participate in any organized event that doesn’t revolve around barbecued meats or miniature horses, everyone’s favorite mustachioed bureaucrat is a perfect fit for Terrence Cody and his Tit Gypsies this All Hallow’s Eve. When it comes to RSR, it’s animals or nothing. Who wouldn’t love to see him dressed in all pink, trying to stand on one leg like a flamingo all night. 
I know more than you.
Repeat (5-2) at Ninja (7-0)
This week’s marquee matchup, undefeated Ninja Jr. hosts AFC leading Repeat Jr. But with Andre Johnson taking the cautious route and McFadden on bye, ADL might have to go fishing for free agents to remain competitive with BEN. Not to rely solely on race, but Eugene has a responsibility to us, his TV obsessed friends, to dress up as the Pride of Elgin, Mr. Chalky White. If a black man can't dress up and wear a suit on Halloween when can he? ADL might think about being a superhero. Not only can Batman beat the crap out of those Hippie OWS nutjobs, but his new vidja game is pretty fun, too. 
nana nana nana nana LASS-MAN!