And like a pack of Corgis, here comes Week 2!

Gang Tackle!

2010.2 Week Preview

Syndrome (0-1) at Buehler (1-0)

It’s a good thing I still have a small penis or last week’s effort would be really embarrassing. I’m used to having great expectations only to be brought back to reality courtesy of a right hook from Nerdwell. Week one Buehler had a tremendous showing and Syndrome’s team played like a bunch of lockjaw patients after a 4-month liquid diet. This matchup pits number 1 against number 10 but the scores this week are likely to meet more around number 5 as their teams enter their true season form.

If the syndrome have another poor showing,
they're going to have to start brown bagging on Sundays

NomNomNom (0-1) at CoCo (0-1)

The Abdominable Suhs played a great game week one only to lose thanks to a weak showing from Andre Johnson. This time against Team COCO, NomNomNom are favored in every category so it seems likely that they will be able to right the ship and get going the rest of the season.

Assholes (1-0) at DPDM (0-1)

The Asshole may look great on paper, but RSR made one roster move that will put him above all the rest this week. 6 feet and 220 pounds of left handed, bankrupt, certified dog killer. Mike Vick makes his triumphant return against the statistic inflating Detroit Lions. MIKE VICK BITCH!

Time Outs (1-0) at Celery Men (1-0)

The TOMB (as they will be referred to from hereon out) cruised last week thanks to Drew Brees and Arian Foster. TOMBs don’t carry much in the way of backups as they stand. This could end up being a problem in the coming weeks as Bye Weeks begin. The Celery Dudes turned in a solid performance week one, but things could be shaky as long as his wagon is hitched to the Kansas City Chiefs.

Tayne (1-0) at Fellatio (0-1)

Well, well, well. The Tayne has achieved in the first week what P.rot could barely do in a season. The Foxborough Blows on the other hand bit the sheets against The Celery Men last week and lost me $5. There is a saying though: As Chris Johnson goes, so goes the Fellatio. Favorite or underdog, don’t count out the Double F with or without Kevin Kolb.

Looking Back on my BDay

I love lobster rolls more than you love anything.

I ate a lobster roll before lunch today. I shot 82 on a championship course from the tournament tees. I had dinner at my favorite restaurant. I had Starbucks two times. I am currently drinking my favorite drink.

Sometimes the world is a fantastic place.

Ashburn, VA Stalker knows our Birthdays

Caption Contest 2010

Have at it folks. Especially if you are a reader from Ashburn, Virginia.

I just crunched some numbers in Excel...

And I determined that 92.432% of my photos are of ARB drinking or drunked. Attached are some of the most character-filled photos of the Captain of the HMS Fancy Boy.

I submit for your consideration:

That special day...

Penis wine? Teste-torching tournaments? Has CABC really deteriorated to conversations about finding ways to consume man-parts or could it be... is it possibly because... it's ARB's BIRTHDAY?!?

Here's to hoping your day is full of liquid dick, edible balls, and whatever is going on here...

Special thanks to SKC for use of his strong arm

Calling all cooks!

To continue the trend of edible and or potable genitalia, I bring to you coverage of the Ball Brawl Gonad Olympiad Fight for the Nutsack Plaque Duel of the Family Jewels World Testicle Cooking Championships.


My question is why would these guys go into the woods for a campout with a bunch of other guys who like to bbq balls? Catch you boners later, it's dinner time!

Business Idea!

Everyone knows that Taco is the number one importer/exporter of 3, 5, 7, and 9 Penis Wines, but who supplies the 4, 6, 8, and 10 Penis Wines?

Using Shepherd in place of Taco, we could monopolize the even numbered Penis Wines trade. In America, more is better. Why drink 3-Penis Wine when 4-Penis Wine is on the market?

The iPod of Jerry Jones

With the season now officially underway, we can look forward to 16 more weeks of regular season football. After that comes three weeks of playoff excitement followed by two weeks of Super Bowl XLV hype and coverage. Once that game kicks off, we must only wait through 30 minutes of football plus 40 minutes of commercials, 20 minutes of replays, and 1 minute and 42 seconds of the Star Spangled Banner yet waving until we reach the zenith of the evening. Officially, the halftime performer has not been announced, but following are a few acts that are likely to have been proposed to Jerry Jones.