The iPod of Jerry Jones

With the season now officially underway, we can look forward to 16 more weeks of regular season football. After that comes three weeks of playoff excitement followed by two weeks of Super Bowl XLV hype and coverage. Once that game kicks off, we must only wait through 30 minutes of football plus 40 minutes of commercials, 20 minutes of replays, and 1 minute and 42 seconds of the Star Spangled Banner yet waving until we reach the zenith of the evening. Officially, the halftime performer has not been announced, but following are a few acts that are likely to have been proposed to Jerry Jones.

• The Eagles

If you look at the past halftime shows, each performer has to get the crowd jump started with an anthem that everyone can sing along to. I can see The Eagles hopping on stage and kicking things off with Life in the Fast Lane. Move that into a little Desperado and Hotel California interlude before finishing off with Take it Easy. Yes, Don Henley lives in Dallas. Yes, they have cross-generational appeal. Yes, they have a new album to plug. But fat fucking chance Jerral Jones lets anything Eagles near his Super Bowl.

• Toby Keith

There isn't a more American performer out there today. It has been said that Toby Keith writes his songs with the same quill that penned the Declaration of Independence and ink made from Glenn Beck's tears. Unfortunately, the Super Bowl is broadcast around the world and some of Toby Keith's tunes are more suited for a good old fashioned Qur'an burning than the halftime show at the house that Jerry built.

• Counting Crows

First and foremost, I think Nerdwell took a class from this guy in college. How this band has endured the tests of time is amazing, but perhaps their entire career has been leading up to this moment. More importantly, their most popular song is called Mr. Jones. A little look into this history of this timeless classic reveals that it started climbing the charts and planting itself in our memories beginning in February of 1993, the same time as the Cowboys' epic Super Bowl XXVII victory over the Buffalo Bills. Coincidence, not likely. Jerry Jones had great things in mind for this little band from Berkeley. As the song says, "Mr. Jones and me, we're gonna be big stars."