Week 8 Review: All You Bitches Are Finished

A visual approximation of ARB's dominance

Week 8 is in the books, and the more things change, the more they stay the same:

Silky is doing the Lord's work.

• The Rangers looked unbeatable, but then they ran into the buzzsaw that is the Giant's pitching staff.
• ARB looked like he would finally lose a game to MMB last week, but luckily, the football Gods viewed MMB as a false idol instead of a true believer.
• JBF has put together a Cal Ripkin-like streak of failure. One more loss in a row and he'll own the all-time CABC record for losses in a row.
• I read Adam Carolla's new book, In 50 Years We'll All Be Chicks, earlier today, and it was fairly funny. I don't recommend you read it in public though, there are giant titles like "Gays and what to do with them" spaced throughout the book. You look like a barely literate neo-Nazi.
• The best part of drinking on an airplane? No tipping.
• As people on my flight watch me type this, I'm fairly sure that I'm being considered a security risk.
• ADL, in the true spirit of the L Family, has bounced back and put together a five game win streak. 
• Right now, someone, somewhere, is complimenting ADL's dad's calves.
• The three man NFC playoff race is getting very interesting. Looking at the schedule, I anticipate that at least one tie-breaker comes into play. (I secretly pray for a SKC v. RSR fist fight. Neither one would want to punch the other.)
• I'm not seeing enough GIFs on the blog. This is a referendum on Obama.
• Speaking of politics, when I run for president, I'm going to mirror my opponent's policies in every way except one: ARB demands more avocados on sandwiches. Tell me you wouldn't vote for that. (I might also call for the public execution of meter-maids, tow truck drivers, and parking lot attendants.)
• I blame the Rangers' World Series loss entirely on JBF refusing to change his team name to "Cocaine and Ginger Ale."
• David "Silky" Garrard is your Week 8 MVP. 
• Silky is also the finest purveyor of plus-sized, under-aged Asian prostitutes in the greater Jacksonville area.
• MMB has been on a four game slide, and I fear that unless he trades me his TE, that this trend could continue. 
• The brothers R and the brothers F haven't committed any inter-familial trades yet, but believe me when I tell you that they're coming. 
• The R family has two teams looking to secure playoff spots, and the F family is basically playing for an honorable death at this point.
• Lastly, I'd like to leave you with a book recommendation. (Yes, GMF, MMB... I know that reading is "for fags.") You need to read John Dies at the End by David Wong. Imagine if Salvidor Dali, Hunter S. Thompson, and Stephen King decided to write a book together. Hilarious, terrifying and compelling.