Def Comedy Week 5 Preview

In honor of our friend Bernard’s move to New York City, I have selected a range of comedic performances for your viewing pleasures.

COCO (1-3) at Tayne (2-2)
COCO needs his offense to get rolling. Elisha is working a 2 game TD drought. Ochocinco hasn’t found the end zone since Week 1 and Ray Rice still has yet to score. Since starting the season with two impressive wins, Tayne has struggled in recent weeks. Things look promising this week as his offensive players have favorable matchups against weak Raider and Cardinal defenses.

Buehler (4-0) at DPDM (2-2)
After defeating the Assholes last weekend, SKC has the lead in the NFC. But with Run DMC benched against San Diego this week, the Friend-me-nots and Maurice Jones-Drew could pull an upset over the undefeated LSAT Preparatory Class Graduate.

Syndrome (0-4) at Suh (1-3)
A lot of attention was paid to BEN’s WR breakdown during MNF, but no one was surprised when Mike Sims-Walker and Legedu Naanee both delivered 0 point games Week 4. Now with Donald Driver on this team, JBF hopes the Syndrome will finally be able to put a tally in the win column. SKR has his top players going head to head in a Monday Night matchup where he hopes Brett Favre will be able to get the passing game going with his new toy.

Fellatio (0-4) at TOTO (3-1)
MMB comes into this matchup as 35-point favorites. After declaring a fire sale of his players, GMF failed to make any radical roster moves this week. Cutler has been lost to injury and unless Chris Johnson can finally get going against the Cowboys, it could be another slow week for Foxborough Fellatio.

Celery Men (4-0) at Assholes (3-1)
Coming off his brutal defeat at the hands of David Buehler’s Rejects, the newly relocated Nerdwell aims to level the playing field against ARB in this week’s headline matchup. The Celery Men are taking a chance this week by playing still unproven Chiefs players against a 2-2 Colts team with something to prove. This game looks to be one for the ages as BEN is currently favored only by his 5-point Home Field Advantage.