Where did all the parity go in the NFL?

Short answer: CABC stole it.

We're parity rich. We've got so much parity that we're filling bathtubs up with it. We're drinking parity cocktails and having parity fights. I'm gonna dive into a big pile of parity like Scrooge McDuck.

You know what? We've got a little extra parity. Maybe we should consider donating some to the disgusting, filthy, parity-less masses: the NFL, the NBA, and the MLB.