Friday, October 23, 2009

Week 7 Preview

Jeff (3-3, 117) at Mark (1-5, 90)
Just when I think Mark doesn't actually care about fantasy because his season is over, he makes some free agent moves and agrees to a trade with Barry. Now it's safe to assume that Barry knows a little more about football than Mark does. Hell Mark doesn't even know what channel ESPN is on his DirecTV (206), but when I woke up to an accepted trade review, I couldn't help but feel a little proud for MMB for holding his own against the Big Bad Wolf and making what I feel to be a decent trade. Will these moves give Mark a chance to beat me this week? Ha.
Edit: Mark is at 14 waiver pickups. I repeat, Mark is at 14 waiver pickups and he still has not cut Kerry Collins.

Brooks (3-3, 123) at Hill (1-5, 51.5)
Last week Hill cried foul to everyone in the league who would listen (Greg, Reed - I assume he didn't have y'alls numbers, lucky bastards). He said that he lost his game last week because of the five point homefield advantage that has been a part of this league since its inception. Funny, I thought he lost because he has a roster of shitty players. We've all been in the same situation before and we've all dealt with it. Face it Hill, you went up against Tom Brady and lost. You're Bridget Moynahan's birth control.

Shep (5-1, 104) at Greg (2-4, 74.5)
Shepherd has taken a two game lead in the AFC despite playing in some of the lowest scoring games all season. On top of that, he decided to change his team name midseason. This could have been a prank played by an angry league manager who lost to Shep last week, but I still expect something a little more creative from both of them. Greg is phoning it in this week. He's known for weeks that this game would be an L because of injuries plaguing his team and the inability to start players at all offensive positions. And he's in New York and we don't have the internet at the apartment...

Drew (3-3, 88.5) at Reed (6-0, 116.5)
This game has been dubbed by many (read Jeff and Reed) as The Bye-Week Brawl. Reed doesn't have any defensive players to begin with and the few on Drew's roster all have the week off. Reed made a gutsy move picking up Miles Austin during the bye week, but that looks like it might pay off as he replaces Patrick Crayton in the Cowboys' starting lineup. He also picked up Michael Crabtree, a player that I don't see outperforming Reggie Wayne, Steve Breaston, or Bruce Leroy to make it into Reed's starting lineup.

"I complain better than I catch"

Barry (3-3, 97.5) at Stan (3-3, 139)
I had the pleasure of spending last weekend with Stan and his cousin, Nora. The two of them had a great time going to the fair: melting the butter sculpture with their loving stares, touching knees on the Caterpillar roller-coaster, waiting in line for matching shirts with their names airbrushed on them. I don't know if they're related on his mom's or dad's side, but those two displayed a familial bond that you just don't see that often these days.

Barry presented me with exciting news last night. He and I have a running contest to determine who can spot more/better celebrities around town. While informing me of his stellar spots last night, he let slip a little secret. Ladies and Gentlemen, I welcome you all to the TMI Theatre....
__Scene One__
BN: Troy at Javier's
BN: Modano as well
JF: I knew there had to be another one
BN: Mike is sitting behind me with this girl and some group and Troy is with the fam right in roby [sic] of me
BN: Isn't mike married to willa ford?
JF: yes he is
BN: She's next to us as well. I thought I remembered he was married to me.....
BN: Married to her
JF: right...
BN: Kill yourself
__End Scene__
Did number 9 acknowledge his true lover? Has Barry finally revealed his deepest, darkest secret? Did Rhonda order the Escalope Cordon Azul or the Pollo Ahumado? Stay tuned for the next episode of TMI Theatre.

Let's get something straight. I like making fun of Jesus, but I love making fun of Kurt Warner. What gives old man? Is it milk or the holy ghost that gives you your gunslinging abilities?


  1. I didn't change Shep's team name. However, I do think that it is a prescient moniker.

  2. apparently, my team name has a lot to do with what happens the current week in fantasy football. there's gonna have to be some changes

  3. I look forward to playing "Team Shep wins the lottery, bangs a lingerie model, and becomes king of the world". Has a nice ring to it.