Week 8 Preview

Fellatio (1-6) at DPDM (4-3)

Carson Palmer: Hey man. I did a great job last week, don’t you think?
RSR: Yeah, I’ll be honest; you were really my only choice.
CP: But I threw for 400 yards. That’s worth an extra 12 points. You’re welcome.
RSR: Oh…uh. Thanks? I mean I won by 90 points, so I didn’t really need you.
CP: Yeah, but I’m CPalms. I’ve got a Heisman.
RSR: No.
CP: But you’re going to start me again this week, right?
RSR: No.

Suh (2-5) at Celery Men (7-0)
The band is on the field moment of 2010 happened this past week when Tuesday morning scoring declared Home Run King the victor against ARB. Lo and behold, The Celery Men ended up prevailing thanks to the Thursday rescore. A 150-149 victory kept ARB unmarred in his campaign for an undefeated season.

TOTO (3-4) at Buehler (5-2)
MMB has to be fuming after Rescoregate 2010. He has dropped three straight games and lacks the consistency on defense to make him competitive week in and week out. It has become clear that MMB attended the “Day Late, Dollar Short Academy of Free Agent Signing” after once again rehauling his roster with players who had monster performances three weeks ago. Buehler should have no trouble recovering from his Week 7 loss, a game he played without Peyton Manning and LaDainian Tomlinson.


Syndrome (0-7) at Tayne (4-3)
JBF has been celebrating since Beanie Wells was announced as the Cardinal’s starter. That’s right, the player everyone else knew was the starter was named the starter week 8. Thanks Whisenhunt, I see what you’re doing here. Your all-pro wide receiver has 2 touchdowns and 300 yards on the year so you try and take away from pressure from your rookie QB by drawing attention to Beanie Wells. If Wells is the starter then I expect to get starter stats. In other words: Pay. Me. My. Money. Bitch.

COCO (4-3) at Assholes (5-2)
With his recent move to the New York, Bernard has taken this fight up to ADL. Since starting the season 0-3, ADL has been able to string together a series of four victories leaving him tied for second place in the AFC. The Assholes reclaimed partial ownership of the NFC’s top spot after their week 7 win. No telling who will win this matchup, but both will end up the losers as long as they have to deal with the guido trash up in NYC.

Week 7 Preview

Fellatio (1-5) at Tayne (3-3)

Tayne might have trouble taking out Fellatio if he doesn’t get his bye week situation taken care of. Chris Ivory will once again get the start for New Orleans, but whether or not he starts for RER has yet to be determined. What Tayne does have going for him is a league low 3 acquisitions going into Sunday which allows him the opportunity to make some upgrades. Fellatio’s offense is finally hitting its stride, but the defense continues to struggle. If he plans on making a comeback this season, GMF is going to need someone other than Jason Babin to step up and make some plays.

Celery Men (6-0) at TOTO (3-3)
The Homerun King gambled last week and lost when starting QB Vince Young went down in his Monday Night showdown with Jacksonville. MMB made the decision pregame to bench his Head Coach and play sans Kicker, a managerial blunder that cost him 14 points and the road win against the Tayne. The Celery Men continue to roll, boasting the only undefeated record in the CABC. ARB must have tremendous confidence in his team based on his decision to start Tom Brady against San Diego’s top ranked pass defense instead of Matt Cassell facing a Jacksonville Jaguars secondary that practices the pull out method when it comes to preventing wide receivers from scoring.

COCO (3-3) at Syndrome (0-6)
I’ve become quite comfortable down here at the bottom of the league. It has allowed me to focus on my passions, like stimulating the economy and holding the good people in Samsung’s television department accountable for their 100,000-hour guarantee. It would be a nice confidence boost to win a game, which is why I have tasked our baker-in-residence to whip up some magic dinner rolls and help me make my dream come true.

Suh (2-4) at DPDM (3-3)
With both teams coming off Week 6 losses, this game is almost sure to yield some of the lowest scores of this week. The Friendless Fighters received some bad news this week when it was announced that Dallas Clark had come down with a case of Rangers Fever mutating his hand into a claw that will require season ending surgery to repair. This compounded with the “loss” of David Garrard puts RSR as clear underdogs to a Suh team that hopes new acquisition Donovan McNabb can provide the points that Brett Favre has not delivered this season.

Buehler (5-1) at Assholes (4-2)
The Assholes are favored in all but one player matchup this week, but I have a feeling that BEN has confidence in his team with or without the House of Spears. Buehler has been strong up to this point, but it looks like this is Kelly’s Week Off. He’s going to get rocked-Prehistoric Style!

One Night Only

Every week I offer Stanley and Alexander the deal of the season. One Silky smooth QB for one of their team's letdowns, Peyton Manning and Thomas Brady, respectively. Does CABC Nation doubt David's worth? Let's go to Week 5's numbers.


Tom Brady: --
Peyton Manning: 9.5

Silkster: 19

Eeeeek! Dr. Garrard doubled Branning's --,9.5 combo. The trade is still available, pending the acceptance of Matt Hasselturtle for DBDO or TCM #2's as well.

Waffle Fries. Fo free.