![](https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiHwRtoCH_Y4bazwb5tuCCIwJgYTFPolEUE5BjwSPhKdeUcTtPiQzdJRnPow385kDtLluv7OBy7FcywHLBo43a8GFDY_pJgO9SkYqVSJrBtMwp5WLliKa8GSsb1ltR_bBiyP5usSjgIigA/s400/hippie.jpg) |
HIPPIES |
vs.
![](https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgNrtnXjKMLGVaoLZKFid81zBt1vtPc6FzVfAPi_nl5aBPpJOxebzCfHMFqKmNxp9Qec56p2f8hQPMdbaF5xufe9uoEXFV7uyuBAXZH0MWxA8RWEF83TmzRUrZQ7f-bmNKUei724tVJDKA/s400/scarface.jpg) |
COKE-HEADS |
A hippie and a coke-head get in a street fight, who wins?
Height: Years of eating organic food and living a stress-free life have given the hippies some length of bone. On the other hand, coke-heads' years of coffee drinking and non-existent appetites have stunted their growth.
Advantage: HIPPIES
![](https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjCeRWi9MkcbyGnYcjNisSVs-K0Mkl2JNkhyk1xg0zOleo2M-ZSVS9YRn9XthjqkT_g0LcOyPhS2mbK8_itj-4Q5XDqgA8w0t_AimQFBRu2sLmqOp3E37-R8K1dkDYD1mSk17oBciC-rio/s400/farmer-john-cornfield2.jpg) |
"This leak is organic, local, cruelty-free, grass-fed, free-range, cage-free, and named Timothy." |
Weight: Coke-heads have, at best, sporadic eating habits. They're often thin, wispy, skeleton-like creatures. Hippies, due to their laziness and love of marijuana, can achieve truly monstrous proportions.
Advantage: HIPPIES
![](https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEi292-3GS4BfCzy1FJ_XDR9vG20B8BxT0pjSm3cIStWzI7iIq0cT2GJSdRGUSCj1JtA7y3UjuzxCZTlZG_nxKFWWsKLNEZ4F9fwZ1JUI1m2fVaWOYVNPYxll8S_7qLXZIhKvKTujv9mTSs/s400/beans.jpg) |
Coke-heads simply have no answer for the man known only as "BEANS" |
Fitness: While hippies often stress the nebulous concept of "wellness", this generally takes the form of homeopathic healing-touch, pot-aided acupuncture, and myriad cleanses. "Wellness" rarely translates into actual exercise. Patrick Bateman could do over a thousand crunches. Enough said.
Advantage: COKE-HEADS.
![](https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhk8W7nOt89305QuIrzZLOpxPStP6o3tthqi1rzTDTgaNVM9CBsmOLO3a8RcnkQgDh2TgqRLtnne_WlA2tl5rN5hfAakDIpLkE29j3xF61Qx2HDVr6cCSiwNgVqdKqiRC8YDiBiBIR0Bxw/s400/aph_6.jpg) |
There's no such thing as a muscular hippie |
Fighting Experience: Peace, love, and understanding might be a swell way to live, but a life of non-violence makes hippies uniquely suited to losing fights. Coke-heads fight often and fight well. Whenever you mix extreme energy levels with scarce resources, fights will break out. Long story short: coke-heads will cut you, man.
Advantage: COKE-HEADS
![](https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiyDxMli_QmYmJl8HLByoA7UJ7vQQJZ-yuny9GKFOgRlobsat3QkI6vYeVY3hyphenhyphendJcmCRq_kHT47Zhb3Mq-3nU2aWMU1JHQtCBoFnp-sY9px1qFekMawBh7bGQzo5uPTSFTepTdWAyHNFzc/s400/445101-broken-bottle.jpg) |
Cut you up so bad, it'll make you wish you weren't cut up so bad. |
Verdict: Coke-heads by a nose! Despite superior measurables hippies lose a close one to coke-heads. After all, it's not the size of the dog in the fight, it's the size of the fight in the dog.
not to mention the fact that coke-heads would have hotter significant others-- case and point: models. They have common interests, such as not eating, putting stuff in their respective nostrils and looking really good most of the time.
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