It was not until Week 11 that JBF won a game last season and
he’s off to a great start if he plans on beating this feat in 2011. His quest
to make history almost came to a halt last week until Michael Turner saved the
day and won the game for both SKC and the Falcons. Raditude should have no
trouble losing this week as his injured offense and nonexistent defense go up
against a strong Kittens team. Chris Johnson is starting to find his stride and
should be able to put up big points against a Denver team that allowed Run-DMC
150 yards in Week 1.
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| Game. Set. Match. Kittens. |
Tit Gypsies (1-1) at Clipboard (1-1)
It is still early in the season, but right now
the leading wide receivers are Steve Smith and Kenny Britt. Averaging almost 30
points per week, Britt guarantees GMF will stay competitive even if Mick Vick
is not 100%. It will be interesting to see what offensive lineup SKCanley uses
to counter this week. Cedric Benson has not been stunning and Rashard Mendenhall
has nowhere to go but up following the Steelers Week 1 meltdown. Even the
guaranteed 10 points from Bradshaw is better than the dice-roll that is Benson
and the Cincinnati Bungals.
GMF has been getting HAMmered for years
Bye Week (0-2) at Hangover (0-2)
Both teams are already beat to shit, but I’ve got to give
the edge to RER. The Hangovers have Eli and Nicks going up against a mean
Philadelphia secondary and Old Man McNabb facing the rival Lions. Hard to put
faith in a starting lineup of rookies Cam Newton and Daniel Thomas, but they’re
the healthiest guys on the Bye Weeks and both players face joke defenses. The
unfortunate thing is one of these guys actually has to win a game this weekend,
and the other will be one week closer to a cool case of 12-step juice.
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| I just Meme'd the shit out of MMB |
Baiters (1-1) at Ninja (2-0)
For all his unwillingness to fully participate, it’s nice to
see BEN changing his name and adopting a new persona for 2011. The Ninjas (nee
Assholes) picked up Ben Tate post-draft, but he remains in the starting lineup
racking up points in Arian Foster’s absence. Greg Jennings caught only two
passes last week for the Baiters, but one was for a touchdown. Despite these
low numbers, Jennings is more of a sure thing than league leading receiver
Steve Smith, whose performance has been helped by Cam Newton’s hot start as
much as he’s been hurt by the rookie QB’s four picks through two weeks.
Projection: BEN is the Brown one, SKR's Head is the Pumpkin
Airboats (2-0) at Repeat (2-0)
Week 3’s spotlight matchup is a clash of undefeated teams in
the Selfish Airboats and the Repeats. When it comes to the Airboats and their
fearless owner, it’s the classic tale of always the bridesmaid and never the
bride. He is the perennial scoring leading, but the CABC title has always
somehow eluded him. ARB has a serious case of Peyton Manning Syndrome, known in
the medical world as PMS. The need for success can lead to dysphoria,
irritability, anxiety, insomnia, and sensitive nipples. There’s no telling how
long ARB can go on living with these symptoms. Even if 2011 is the year he
turns things around and wins, some doctors say that PMS patients could suffer
from bloating and a “chronic pain-in-ass”. I know I’m not alone in praying to
the Football Gods for our friend and his health.
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| A Glimpse into the Mind of ARB |
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