Saturday, September 24, 2011


Kittens (1-1) at Raditude (0-2)
It was not until Week 11 that JBF won a game last season and he’s off to a great start if he plans on beating this feat in 2011. His quest to make history almost came to a halt last week until Michael Turner saved the day and won the game for both SKC and the Falcons. Raditude should have no trouble losing this week as his injured offense and nonexistent defense go up against a strong Kittens team. Chris Johnson is starting to find his stride and should be able to put up big points against a Denver team that allowed Run-DMC 150 yards in Week 1. 
Game. Set. Match. Kittens.
Tit Gypsies (1-1) at Clipboard (1-1)
It is still early in the season, but right now the leading wide receivers are Steve Smith and Kenny Britt. Averaging almost 30 points per week, Britt guarantees GMF will stay competitive even if Mick Vick is not 100%. It will be interesting to see what offensive lineup SKCanley uses to counter this week. Cedric Benson has not been stunning and Rashard Mendenhall has nowhere to go but up following the Steelers Week 1 meltdown. Even the guaranteed 10 points from Bradshaw is better than the dice-roll that is Benson and the Cincinnati Bungals.
GMF has been getting HAMmered for years
Bye Week (0-2) at Hangover (0-2)
Both teams are already beat to shit, but I’ve got to give the edge to RER. The Hangovers have Eli and Nicks going up against a mean Philadelphia secondary and Old Man McNabb facing the rival Lions. Hard to put faith in a starting lineup of rookies Cam Newton and Daniel Thomas, but they’re the healthiest guys on the Bye Weeks and both players face joke defenses. The unfortunate thing is one of these guys actually has to win a game this weekend, and the other will be one week closer to a cool case of 12-step juice. 
I just Meme'd the shit out of MMB
Baiters (1-1) at Ninja (2-0)
For all his unwillingness to fully participate, it’s nice to see BEN changing his name and adopting a new persona for 2011. The Ninjas (nee Assholes) picked up Ben Tate post-draft, but he remains in the starting lineup racking up points in Arian Foster’s absence. Greg Jennings caught only two passes last week for the Baiters, but one was for a touchdown. Despite these low numbers, Jennings is more of a sure thing than league leading receiver Steve Smith, whose performance has been helped by Cam Newton’s hot start as much as he’s been hurt by the rookie QB’s four picks through two weeks.
Projection: BEN is the Brown one, SKR's Head is the Pumpkin

Airboats (2-0) at Repeat (2-0)
Week 3’s spotlight matchup is a clash of undefeated teams in the Selfish Airboats and the Repeats. When it comes to the Airboats and their fearless owner, it’s the classic tale of always the bridesmaid and never the bride. He is the perennial scoring leading, but the CABC title has always somehow eluded him. ARB has a serious case of Peyton Manning Syndrome, known in the medical world as PMS. The need for success can lead to dysphoria, irritability, anxiety, insomnia, and sensitive nipples. There’s no telling how long ARB can go on living with these symptoms. Even if 2011 is the year he turns things around and wins, some doctors say that PMS patients could suffer from bloating and a “chronic pain-in-ass”. I know I’m not alone in praying to the Football Gods for our friend and his health.
A Glimpse into the Mind of ARB

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