Friday, September 16, 2011


Hangover (0-1) at Airboats (1-0)
As predicted, MMB did in fact start his trio of Giants last week (Season Count: 1).  With Welkah’s 99 yahd touchdown powah play, Mahk was supah close to actually beating Lassitah in theyah opening matchup. ARBday rolled the Tit Gypsies last week as he plans to do with every opponent this season. His lackluster showing from Roddy White was made easier by stellar RB outings. Terrell Suggs had a monster outing to make up for an otherwise average day on defense. Expect for of the same this week as the Steelers get a chance to make things right against Seattle at home.
I, err, ahh, blame it on Arian Fostah
Stabbin Dude (0-1) at Clipboard (0-1)
JBF wasted no time when it came to turning in a weak performance. Should this repeat of last season continue, J should take headshots and audition for the role of Rape Victim 4 on an episode of Law and Order: SVU. Method acting at its finest. Even with a stable of RBs to choose from, Raditude will have no easy task when it comes to playing Clipboard and his crew. SKC has Brees going up against a Bears D that punished Matt Ryan week one and Jay Cutler facing a Saints Secondary with 10 days of rest.
Shut up, JBF. You know you liked it.
BYE WEEK(0-1) at Tit Gypsies (0-1)
As expected, Bye Week put up a solid fight against little bro until Sensei Brady showed up on Monday night, dropping 517 yards and 56 points and allowing RSR to pick up the W. This week RER goes up against the other younger brother of the league and can look forward to more of the same. Sam Bradford is nursing a hurt throwing hand and Cam Newton goes up against the defending World Champions. But all eyes will be on Atlanta this weekend with Vick’s triumphant homecoming. The chicken has come home to roost, and he’s going to shit all over this place.
Actual footage from GMF's game last week

Assholes (1-0) at Kittens (1-0)
This could possibly be the first time in years that Tom Brady does not have a red “P” next to his name leading up to game day. And if Monday’s performance is any indication, the rest of the league should be shaking in their boots. First up are the Assholes, who are facing a ton of injuries going into this week’s game. If BEN hopes to get the victory, he’s going to have to need a repeat performance from Ben Tate and a sweet new team name. He better get to work quick, Metta World Peace is taken.
QUEENSBRIDGE, BITCH. But I ain't changed tho.

Baiters (1-0) at Repeat (1-0)
The Baiters are tempting fate leaving Steve Smith in the lineup. No, not that Steve Smith. The old Steve Smith. You know, the guy who’s always injured. The one SKR should have been trying to trade away all week for a player who will get him 30 points a week instead of 30 points the rest of the season. But, to each his own. You want to start LeGarrette Blount and Pierre Thomas, be my guest. Not like you could cut Peyton and pick up another guy who has a chance of taking the field before week 10 of next year. Just a thought. In other news, ADL got so angry fighting Zombz this week he destroyed his new Xbox. Level up, big cat. Be back to lend a hand on Monday night because there’s no way I’m watching Rams-Giants. [Editor’s Note: This fine Microsoft software autocorrects XBox [sic] to Xbox. Who the fuck knew?]
Who do you voodoo, bitch?!

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