Tuesday, December 13, 2011

Ohhhh You Bitch (UPDATE)

Dramatic Re-Enactment of the Event.
I called the local police today because I had been robbed. When I explained what happened, they told me that I hadn't technically been robbed and there was nothing they could do.

So I called the state police. Same response.

Then I called the FBI. I explained to them in great detail what happened, and they said they would look into it, but that I shouldn't get my hopes up.

With no place left to turn, I present my evidence to you:

 Exhibit A:
You can't put breasts that large next to a whisky that fine. You just can't.
What choice do you have except to buy? They've got you by the root.

Exhibit B:
This is like putting cigarette ads into kids shows, except a thousand times more devious.
This is the advertisement all but has a gun to the head of the consumer.

Exhibit C:
Is she pouring it for Draper, Sterling, or you?
My money was forcibly taken from me by a third party.

That's robbery to me. I just don't know what else to call.


It turns out that Costanza was correct: important things come in a case.
She's glorious.
After a 240 point week, the Airboats deserved this.


  1. You of all people know that's not bourbon. How dare you insult our intelligence with such careless abandon.

  2. A blended scotch whisky, I know I know.


  3. I think mine's broken