Wednesday, December 14, 2011

A Business Proposition

Soooooo, CP3 has officially left the Hornets.

I say we let the them fester for a bit, then get a few hundred bucks together and buy the team.

I'm thinking of an all CABC lineup and coaching staff would fit the Hornets nicely...

Center: SKR. I heard another dude named Robinson did okay here. I think we stick with what works

Power Forward: GMF. We need a big body down in the paint to play the low post game.

Small Forward: BEN. A versatile player, but with a history of injury.

Shooting Guard: RER. Every team needs a player to relentlessly jack up threes and look good doing it.

Point Guard: ADL. Like a heavily accessorized, slightly blacker version of CP3.

6th Man: SKC. Gives us a spark off the bench. May have to change his name to something Latino to draw in the crowds. I like "Stanuelo," personally.

Asst. Coach: RSR. Stays on the level of the players, relates with them easily.

Coach: JBF. Simply loves the game. Years of video games is all the training he needs.

Executive Vice President: MMB. Dude knows how to wear a suit. Excellent fall guy if this whole thing goes tits up.

General Manager: ARB. Gonna make sooooo many spreadsheets. Will maximize team BPAOBJP.

Team Ownership: Collective year to year. Finish 1st in fantasy: 10 votes, 2nd: 9 votes, etc. Majority rules.

Basketball Strategy: Psychological warfare. We do our research, and then unleash devilish trash talk during the games. Also, we take a fuck ton of charges

Business Strategy: Pay ourselves just enough to get welfare money to keep the franchise afloat. Flirt heavily with Seattle and eventually get them to build us a new stadium there.

Sound good to everybody? Probably need at least 90 bucks from each of you if we're gonna make this happen, so save some of that Christmas money.

Ok, good talk. See you out there.

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