CABC 2011: WEEK 14 PREVIEW

Maybe Rick Perry can help us save Community

Ninja Vanish (BEN, 11-2) at Afternoon Hangover (MMB, 6-7)

Following a few disappointing weeks, BEN seems to be running on all cylinders just in time for the playoffs. The Ninjas were able to post 45 points on Thursday evening even with Roethlisberger playing with a gimp leg and jacked up hand. It hasn’t been a glamorous season for MMB, but he has put together two critical wins here as the season winds down. Should the Afternoon Hangover pull off the upset this week, they will improve to a respectable .500 on the season. The record is respectable—the man is not.

Bye Week (RER, 4-9) at Manning the Clipboard (SKC, 2-11)

Inconsequential.

Repeat? I Got This (ADL, 8-5) at Terrence Cody’s Tit Gypsies (GMF, 5-8)

It has been a disappointing season for the Tit Gypsies. While his first pick of Mike Vick was a complete bust, it’s his final pick that should be applauded now as the season winds down. GMF drafted future SM HOF’er (eligible 2012) Samuel Onyedikachi Acho as CABC’s Mr. Irrelevant. He was relegated to the practice squad soon after, but returns to the lineup this week and expects to start against ADL and the Repeats. Acho stands to improve to top-15 status at the D-End position, over perennial Pro-Bowlers Umenyiora and Julius Peppers. These late season reps are critical for young players, as GMs are scouting for future drafts. Expect Sam to go in the mid- to late-rounds in 2012 and make an immediate impact for any team.

Baiters Gonna Bait (SKR, 6-7) at A Stabbin Dude With Raditude (JBF, 6-7)

Somebody get Michael Buffer on the line because shit is about to go down. After 13 weeks, it comes down to this final matchup of the regular season to finalize the playoff picture in the NFC. The Baiters come into this game following a loss to MMB’s tandem of Manning and Nicks. Now SKR loses Fred Davis, his lone TE, to a violation of the league’s substance abuse policy. Apparently “Marijuana Suspension” is a suspension due to marijuana use, not a suspension of marijuana use. Without any remaining waiver pickups, the Baiters are forced to play this and any remaining games with one man down.

The Selfish Airboats (ARB, 10-3) at Kittens Riding Turtles (RSR, 7-6)

The previous matchup only comes into play if RSR falls to the mighty Airboats this week. ARB’s Steeler duo of Mendenhall and Mike Wallace were both held to fewer than ten points in their Thursday night outing against the Browns, so the Kittens won’t have too much trouble making up this deficit, even without the help of AD. If RSR were to win this game, it would mean a repeat of last year’s playoffs. Snoozefest. I hope everyone does their best to make sure he gets locked in a closet without a phone, making it impossible to change his lineups and causing him irreparable mental damage for years to come. In the friendliest way possible, of course.