Thursday, December 1, 2011


Can you hear that? 

Every time a Mike Leach gets a job, a mediocre Texas high school quarterback gets his wings.

Bye Week (RER, 4-8) at Repeat (ADL, 7-5)
RER has dropped five games in a row, including one heartbreaking tie against the Baiters. The season cannot be over any sooner for RER so he can get back to making crank calls to local radio stations. Now the Bye Weeks come into this penultimate matchup as 20-point dogs to ADL. The Repeats need some serious help from their receiving corps if they hope to make it back to the championship. Last week prime producers Dez and Vincent Jackson combined for only 6 points. It may take a little gambling with Decker and a half-healthy Andre Johnson to take down his remaining competition.

Afternoon Hangover (MMB, 5-7) at Baiters (SKR, 6-6)
LeSean McCoy was held to 31 rushing yards Sunday against New England, but he is expected to hit the century mark again in tonight’s game at Seattle. While MMB took himself out of the Taintsman conversation with last week’s win over The Clipboards, he can still play spoiler as he goes up against SKR. The Baiters seem to win or lose based on the performance of LeGarrette Blount. The Bucs Back goes up against Carolina’s league’s worst run-defense this week, but anything can happen as the division rivals face each other for the first time this season.

Kittens Riding Turtles (RSR, 7-5) at Ninja Vanish (BEN, 10-2)
Lil B has dropped two straight games to potential playoff foes and gets a preview of his current first round matchup this weekend. The Ninjas took this game in Week two, thanks to an embarrassing Ravens loss and injury to Antonio Gates. But the new-look Kittens are a force to be reckoned with now that Tom Brady and DeMarco Murray are in charge. A third loss in a row might send BEN to the waiver wire. DeSean Jackson may be helping out the Eagles here and there, but his seven-week touchdown drought has definitely hurt the Ninjas.

Stabbin Dude (JBF, 6-6) at Tit Gypsies (GMF, 4-8)
This rematch reminds me of this one time in a deer blind… In other news, I wish the Dallas Cowboys luck as I stalk them around the desert this weekend. 

Airboats (ARB, 9-3) at Manning (SKC, 2-10)
There has been some mention of ARB’s starters being rested this week, but it’s hard to know if that will be enough of an advantage for SKC to pull out the win. John Skelton’s interceptions negate any good passes he makes to Larry Fitzgerald and Earl Bennett has faded with the loss of Jay Cutler. [Editor’s note: Now that No-Shave No-Vember is over, we can focus on December’s campaign. That would be the fight to keep Taint in Taintsmas. Goddamn liberal media.]

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