Thursday, November 12, 2009

Stan, you're fucked...

As I was perusing the internetz trying to find creatures whose lives I value more than Stan's, I stumbled upon this pocket monster. When Pokémon Primary Colors first came out, I applauded Satoshi and Ken's creativity and imagination. But after further research, the Japanese are not that inspiring, but possess an unbelievable knowledge of the animal kingdom. Thus, I bring you the pangolin (Sunda Pangolin, Manis javanica), Texas Armadillo meets Gulf War.

Battle Facts

* The scales are razor-sharp, providing extra defense.
* Pangolins can also emit a noxious smelling acid from glands near the anus, similar to the spray of a skunk.
* It can curl up into a ball when threatened, with its overlapping scales acting as armour and its face tucked under its tail.
* In pangolins, the section of the brain that relates to problem solving is highly developed. Although their problem solving ability is primarily used to find food in obscure locations, when kept in captivity pangolins are remarkable escape artists

How many Stans would it take to defeat this one realmon?

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