Greg's Guide to Nutrition

Welcome back, this week we will look into the proper way to select a dining establishment that is appropriate for resolving that obnoxious hunger caused stomach growling.

• Seek out restaurants that serve queso. Queso can be used with anything, e.g. chips, fries, etc. Also, it is possibly the most delicious thing ever created. I'm surprised it hasn't been outlawed since its as addictive as heroin. But hey, I'm not complaining.
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
• If there is a sandwich item in play, I like for a little bit of grease to be leaking out the far end of the sandwich. Choose someplace that will leave your forearm nice and slick from all that delicious grease.
• If you think that eating there once to twice a week would induce a heart attack in the next 2-4 years, it is a great place. Eat there once or twice a week, trust me, no heart attack.

Skanky Whore serving unreasonably large burgers...Yes Please.

• Don't go to one of those little gay salad places. I don't have anything else to say about it, just don't do it.

In conclusion, there should be two restaurants that you immediately think of as appropriate options: Snuffer's and Texadelphia. Both are greasy, have queso, are delicious, and probably heart attack inducing.