Saturday, October 23, 2010

Week 7 Preview

Fellatio (1-5) at Tayne (3-3)
Tayne might have trouble taking out Fellatio if he doesn’t get his bye week situation taken care of. Chris Ivory will once again get the start for New Orleans, but whether or not he starts for RER has yet to be determined. What Tayne does have going for him is a league low 3 acquisitions going into Sunday which allows him the opportunity to make some upgrades. Fellatio’s offense is finally hitting its stride, but the defense continues to struggle. If he plans on making a comeback this season, GMF is going to need someone other than Jason Babin to step up and make some plays.

Celery Men (6-0) at TOTO (3-3)
The Homerun King gambled last week and lost when starting QB Vince Young went down in his Monday Night showdown with Jacksonville. MMB made the decision pregame to bench his Head Coach and play sans Kicker, a managerial blunder that cost him 14 points and the road win against the Tayne. The Celery Men continue to roll, boasting the only undefeated record in the CABC. ARB must have tremendous confidence in his team based on his decision to start Tom Brady against San Diego’s top ranked pass defense instead of Matt Cassell facing a Jacksonville Jaguars secondary that practices the pull out method when it comes to preventing wide receivers from scoring.

COCO (3-3) at Syndrome (0-6)
I’ve become quite comfortable down here at the bottom of the league. It has allowed me to focus on my passions, like stimulating the economy and holding the good people in Samsung’s television department accountable for their 100,000-hour guarantee. It would be a nice confidence boost to win a game, which is why I have tasked our baker-in-residence to whip up some magic dinner rolls and help me make my dream come true.

Suh (2-4) at DPDM (3-3)
With both teams coming off Week 6 losses, this game is almost sure to yield some of the lowest scores of this week. The Friendless Fighters received some bad news this week when it was announced that Dallas Clark had come down with a case of Rangers Fever mutating his hand into a claw that will require season ending surgery to repair. This compounded with the “loss” of David Garrard puts RSR as clear underdogs to a Suh team that hopes new acquisition Donovan McNabb can provide the points that Brett Favre has not delivered this season.

Buehler (5-1) at Assholes (4-2)
The Assholes are favored in all but one player matchup this week, but I have a feeling that BEN has confidence in his team with or without the House of Spears. Buehler has been strong up to this point, but it looks like this is Kelly’s Week Off. He’s going to get rocked-Prehistoric Style!


  1. Jeff, in light of the Rangers' recent success, I demand that you change your team name to "Cocaine and Ginger Ale". I guarantee your team will turn around.

  2. I appreciate the regional accuracy of the Planned Parenthood link.

  3. What I don't appreciate, Beyonce.