Saturday, October 30, 2010

Week 8 Preview

Fellatio (1-6) at DPDM (4-3)
Carson Palmer: Hey man. I did a great job last week, don’t you think?
RSR: Yeah, I’ll be honest; you were really my only choice.
CP: But I threw for 400 yards. That’s worth an extra 12 points. You’re welcome.
RSR: Oh…uh. Thanks? I mean I won by 90 points, so I didn’t really need you.
CP: Yeah, but I’m CPalms. I’ve got a Heisman.
RSR: No.
CP: But you’re going to start me again this week, right?
RSR: No.

Suh (2-5) at Celery Men (7-0)
The band is on the field moment of 2010 happened this past week when Tuesday morning scoring declared Home Run King the victor against ARB. Lo and behold, The Celery Men ended up prevailing thanks to the Thursday rescore. A 150-149 victory kept ARB unmarred in his campaign for an undefeated season.

TOTO (3-4) at Buehler (5-2)
MMB has to be fuming after Rescoregate 2010. He has dropped three straight games and lacks the consistency on defense to make him competitive week in and week out. It has become clear that MMB attended the “Day Late, Dollar Short Academy of Free Agent Signing” after once again rehauling his roster with players who had monster performances three weeks ago. Buehler should have no trouble recovering from his Week 7 loss, a game he played without Peyton Manning and LaDainian Tomlinson.

Syndrome (0-7) at Tayne (4-3)
JBF has been celebrating since Beanie Wells was announced as the Cardinal’s starter. That’s right, the player everyone else knew was the starter was named the starter week 8. Thanks Whisenhunt, I see what you’re doing here. Your all-pro wide receiver has 2 touchdowns and 300 yards on the year so you try and take away from pressure from your rookie QB by drawing attention to Beanie Wells. If Wells is the starter then I expect to get starter stats. In other words: Pay. Me. My. Money. Bitch.
COCO (4-3) at Assholes (5-2)
With his recent move to the New York, Bernard has taken this fight up to ADL. Since starting the season 0-3, ADL has been able to string together a series of four victories leaving him tied for second place in the AFC. The Assholes reclaimed partial ownership of the NFC’s top spot after their week 7 win. No telling who will win this matchup, but both will end up the losers as long as they have to deal with the guido trash up in NYC.

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