CABC 2011: WEEK 8 PREVIEW

Guess, what guys? The Stars are 7-3 and leading the Pacific Division! Plenty of room on the bandwagon. Halloween is on Monday and I would bet that half of you either have not yet figured out your costume or will be abstaining altogether [I’m looking at you, Greg]. Follow the jump to get this week’s preview and some last minute costume advice.

Week 7 Picks: The 1%

This is you

ARB This Season: 20-17-2
ARB Last Week:    5-7-1
BEN This Season:  7-6-1
BEN Last Week:    6-6-1
ARBvBEN GotW: 1-1-0 

The picks:

Away	Home	Line	ARB	BEN
IND	TEN	-10.5	TEN	IND
MIN	CAR	-3.5	CAR	MIN
JAC	HOU	-10	HOU	HOU
NO	STL	+15.5	NO	NO
MIA	NYG	-10.5	NYG	MIA
ARI	BAL	-13	BAL	ARI
WAS	BUF	-4.5	BUF	BUF
DET	DEN	+3.5	DET	DET
NE	PIT	+2.5	NE	PIT
CIN	SEA	+1	SEA	SEA
CLE	SF	-10	CLE	CLE
DAL	PHI	-3.5	DAL	DAL
SD	KC	+3.5	SD	SD

ARB vs BEN Game of the Week:

The Minnesota Vikings visit the Carolina Panthers, and they're getting 3.5 points.

BEN takes Vikings, gets the points. ARB lays the Panthers, gives the points.

This week, these two handsome gentlemen will be betting...

NOMNOMNOM

Sushi! The winner will get a delicious Japanese meal, paid for by the loser. 

"Mo' money, mo' problems." -Milo

Gibbons & Milo's Insider Lock of the Week

"Money for nothing & the chicks for free." -Gibbons

DETROIT giving 3.5 on the road. Saint Tebow be damned! Megatron bows to no one. The Broncos are incredibly terrible. This is free money



BONUS:

Degenerate Gambler's Parlay of the Week:

Carolina Panthers -3.5
Buffalo Bills -5
San Francisco 49ers -9

Risk $100 to win $611.57


Bad beat last week, but this week we get to root against the Vikings, the Redskins, and the Browns. I like that.

ESPN's New Slogan

Just over his left shoulder.

This guy was slightly less subtle.

CABC Got a Puppy, and a New Nemesis

With ARush's monopoly on Gibbons, aka Captain Leaf Eater , CABC members have to turn to The Internetz for their fixes of adorable.

May I introduce Bandit:



With the introduction of Bandit comes a new enemy, one common for all pups. ICECUBES.

Gibbons, aka The Extreme Racist, also hates this Icecube.

Week 7 Review: GIFs a Plenty

Blogggggin'

To business:

How I Feel After Tonight's Game

Week 6 Picks: A CHALLENGER APPROACHES

HUGE NEWS: The one and only BEN has officially joined the ARB PICK MACHINE and has agreed to pick the games with me every week. We'll keep a running tally of our success, as well as a record of who has the better record when we disagree.

In addition to all that huge news, BEN and ARB will choose one game a week to bet a meal on. So far, ARB owes BEN a STEAK DINNER at the location of BEN's choosing.

ARB This Season: 15-10-1
ARB Last Week:    7-5-1
BEN This Season:  1-0-0
BEN Last Week:    1-0-0
ARBvBEN GotW: 0-1-0

Away	Home	Line	ARB	BEN
DEN	MIA	-2.5	DEN	DEN
CHI	TB	pk	CHI	TB
HOU	TEN	-3	TEN	HOU
SD	NYJ	pk	SD	SD
SEA	CLE	-3	SEA	CLE
WAS	CAR	-3	CAR	CAR
ATL	DET	-4.5	DET	ATL
KC	OAK	-3.5	OAK	OAK
PIT	ARI	+4	PIT	ARI
STL	DAL	-12	DAL	DAL
GB	MIN	+10.5	GB	GB
IND	NO	-15.5	IND	NO
BAL	JAC	+10	BAL	BAL

 ARB vs BEN Game of the Week:

The Pittsburgh Steelers visit the Arizona Cardinals, with the Steelers giving four points.

BEN takes Arizona, gets the points. ARB lays Pittsburgh, gives the points.

This week, these two handsome gentlemen will be betting...

Mi Cocina done right

Mi Cocina Dinner!
Including: Mambos, Margs, Queso, a Babalu, Nachos Locos, and the entree of the winner's choice.

"Catnip is for closers. " -Milo

Gibbons & Milo's Insider Lock of the Week

"The world, Chico, and everything in it." -Gibbons

DALLAS hosting the beat up and terrible St. Louis Rams. It'll be like a little World Series preview. Jesus, we get it St. Louis, you've got an arch. Now shut the fuck up.

BONUS:

Degenerate Gambler's Parlay of the Week:

Chicago Bears -1.5
Denver Broncos pk
Green Bay Packers -10

Risk $100 to win $611.57

We're betting against the Bucs, the Dophins, and the Vikings. I feel pretty good about that. When you factor in Saint Tebow starting for the Broncos on Sunday, I think this one is a lock.

I'd like to point out that the DGPotW actually cashed last week, so you could say we're on a hot streak.

Saturdays 9am - 11am

Tumblr of the Day

With this CABC Season's emphasis on Turtles, I present to you Today's Featured Tumblr.

Some favorites include:

Steve Buscemichalangelo	Usheraphael	Larry Davidurtle

2012 Taintsman TMNT Nose!

Had RER Traded AJ to BENarwhal

Bernard would have been like this for dayz.

CABC 2011: WEEK 7 PREVIEW

I'm still mad at Chicharito.

Jaime Garcia can suck it.

I don't know what the Pan American Games are.

All readers in Mexico are hereby banned from this week's preview.

A Release from the Emergency Strategic Cuteness Reserve

Don't watch the news

After the news images of Terry Thompson's dead menagerie aired yesterday, CABC has decided to combat the negative cuteness outlook with a sizable release from the Emergency Strategic Cuteness Reserve.

Thank you.

Streams as a Meme

Fancy Crab is the latest meme to spawn from le reddit, and FC's messages bear a striking resembles to CABC's own Streams' inebriated thoughts.

WEEK 6 REVIEW: THE WEEK OF RECKONING

I don't even care what happened in the rest of the league: Fantasy Football God exists.

And I can prove it:

I would gladly trade Romo for two first round picks

SERIOUSLY???????????????????????????????????????????
Al Davis dies, so you decide to continue his legacy as a crazy person by trading for this guy?
What is happening?



Also, can't wait to see Mike Sims-Walker tear it up in Denver. God Squad 2-Kay-Leven!

Mark's First Attempt At Posting

Ever the self-learner, MMB took his time Friday configuring the complexities of Blogspot for his first successful post in the 2011-2012 CABC Blog Season.

1, 2, 3, Success!

"AAHHHHHH!" definitely stands as the best choice between "BEGIN" and "LET IT BEGIN". I personally prefer the suspenseful subject of "Th".

It's not just unhealthy; It's racist, too!

I stopped in to my local Sports Authority today to pick up some balls and tees (those are testicles and shirts for those of you not down with the lingo) and saw this pretty little thing. The only thing it's missing is a detachable Kool-Aid dispenser. I vote we pick up one or two of these big fellas and hit another Cowboys game. AND, now I'm done X-Mas shopping for Geggy.

I wish you all a happy Sunday and GO RANGERS!

AAHHHHHH!!!

ROSSSS!!!!!

I will destroy you like the hamster destroys the cucumber

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=67D9qBqcZ3Q
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CABC 2011: WEEK 6 PREVIEW

I know how to use my words. In fact, this week's preview checks in at over 650 of them! I'd really appreciate it if you all would check it out. Thanks guys,  MMB  JBF

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First Trade of the Season

Pretty Impressive

Details below.

Week 5 Picks

This is high comedy.

This Season: 8 - 5
Last week: 8 - 5

The Picks:

Away	Home	Line	Pick
JAC	PIT	-13	PIT
STL	GB	-15.5	STL
BUF	NYG	-3	BUF
CAR	ATL	-5.5	ATL
SF	DET	-4.5	DET
PHI	WAS	pk	WAS
IND	CIN	-7	CIN
HOU	BAL	-6.5	BAL
CLE	OAK	-7	OAK
DAL	NE	-7	DAL
NO	TB	+4.5	NO
MIN	CHI	-3	CHI
MIA	NYJ	-9	NYJ

"All I do is win. Money Talks. " -Milo

Gibbons & Milo's Insider Lock of the Week

"Fat stacks and skinny bitches." -Gibbons

Washington hosting Philly in a pick 'em game. The Eagles are banged up, they've got no defensive coordinator, and Michael Vick is a dog murderer. The Redskins should have 300 rushing yards.



BONUS:

Degenerate Gambler's Parlay of the Week:

SMU -3
Texas A&M -9
Buffalo Bills +3.5

Risk $100 to win $643.11

Week 5 Review Preview Review

Clearly a photo from Tumblr, not Reddit

1. Weekend Activities
1. I took two lessons and played 36 holes so my game would be razor sharp for Cypress Point.
2. I did not see SKC, although we did discuss Breaking Bad.
3. Any accurate preview would realize that I rarely drink beer.
2. This one is hard to argue with

Reed is CLEARLY the one on the right

3. See above.

4. I had 8 players on byes, and BEN has a highly competitive team. No shame in this week. That being said, the amount of butt-hurt over last week from the RER, RSR, and the R family is fairly incredible.  Mea culpa be damned, I'm officially awarding the CABC all-time butt-hurt bronze medal* jointly to RER and RSR.


*Silver- MMB, "Scoregate"

Week 5 Review Preview

While we all await Streams to come off the inebriation train after Nellee Cruz's Boomstick Slam and this week's narrow loss to BENinja, I am here to present this week's review preview.

Streams' Present State

Here is what we can expect:

1) A gratuitous amount of pictures of Streams' past weekend which include:

  a) Close-ups of meals prepared

b) At least one picture of him and SKC [timestamp not relevant]

c) Two beers in the same picture

2) An animal picture with me referenced (Nod to you, good sir)

3) A picture from reddit

4) Little to no reference of this past weekend's close escape by the lucky Bernard Narwhal Newellster III, which will look something like this:

JBF over SKR, 196-156.5

RER over ADL, 152-139.5

BEN over ARB, 207-117.5
MMB over GMF, 174.5-171.5

RSR over SKC, 151-147

BEN is your Week 5 Champion

Matt Schaub is your Week 5 MVP.

Nelson "The Velour Hammer" Cruz

 At first I was like...

Uh oh

But then...

The Latin Lamborghini

and I was like...

Sploosh

See you gentlemen in Milwaukee.

Dear King: YOU SUCK AGAIN!

CABC 2011: WEEK 5 PREVIEW

COME EARLY, BE LOUD, STAY LATE: It's CABC's Week 5 and OU Still Sucks.

My Spirit Animal is the Acho

CABC NFL Picks of the Week

Let's get down to it.

Away	Home	Line	Pick
TEN	PIT	-5	PIT
ARI	MIN	-3	ARI
KC	IND	-1.5	IND
OAK	HOU	-7	OAK
NO	CAR	+7	NO
PHI	BUF	+3	BUF
CIN	JAC	-1	CIN
SEA	NYG	-11.5	SEA
TB	SF	-3	TB
SD	DEN	+6	SD
NYJ	NE	-10	NYJ
GB	ATL	+5	GB
CHI	DET	-7	DET

"It ain't a bet if you always win." -Milo

Gibbons & Milo's Insider Lock of the Week

"This is my town. I run Vegas." -Gibbons

Indianapolis giving 2 at home against Kansas City. KC is completely terrible, the only way this loses is if the Colts decide that Suck for Luck is their goal this season.





BONUS:

Degenerate Gambler's Teaser of the Week:

THE EVIL EMPIRE Teaser!

New England Patriots -2
Oklahoma Sooners -4
Philadelphia Eagles+4
Texas A&M Aggies -2.5

Risk $100 to win $200

I like this bet because it's a depression hedge. If all these teams cover , you get an extra $200 to spend on fine wines and exotic meats. Of course, three of these teams will probably cover and the Eagles probably screw you. But hey, this is bet is for degenerates only.