Wednesday, December 16, 2009

Mike Tomlin Owes Me Cash Money

I think Mike Tomlin is a great coach. He's the kind of hard-nosed tough-guy that the Cowboys need to come in and run their organization. That is why I decided he would be the perfect coach for my team when I selected him at the beginning of the season. But it would seem that both the Steelers and the Lunchbox have had their fair share of difficulties this year. And who do I blame for these shortcomings? Mike Tomlin.

This is a guy coming off a Superbowl victory and gets to play 2 games against The Browns (not racist). On top of that, you were going up against the NFC North and AFC West this season. You and I got off to a hot start together. Together we took town teams from Nashville. You kicked the chair out from under the Titans while I reminded Hill that it was going to be a long season. But then you started to get cocky.

Seriously guy? You lost to the Chiefs. And then the Raiders. And Cleveland? I don't care if you don't want to take the Steelers to the playoffs, in fact I appreciate it. You're a small market team with ugly blue collar fans, a horrible color scheme, and too many nationally televised games. But when you lost a close game Week 3 against your rivals, The Cincinnati Bengals, and scored -1, it caused me to lose an even closer game. At the time I brushed it off because after all, it was only week 3. Little did I know that the afternoon of September 27, 2009, you killed my season. You set in motion an act of destruction rivaled only by Terrorists and Republicans. I played you week after week, hoping you could redeem yourself and reward me with one of those 14 point games my friends have been talking about. Yet week in and week out, you give me these -1's.

Now, I'm on the outside looking in. I drafted you to win, but you helped me lose. Barry stole my spot in the playoffs, but it looks like you were on his side all along. That is so typical (racist). Go Stan!

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