Monday, October 19, 2009

Delicious and Nutritious: The Offerings of Texas vs. OU

As I sit here devouring a pork cheddar 'n jalapeno sausage, I find myself wanting more out of the tasty treat. Sure, it satisfies 3 out of the 4 major food groups (meat, cheddar, and spicy stuff, the fourth being tobacco), but it just doesn't feel right. Everyone knows that meals on a stick are simply more scrumptious. Unlike Oprah, I did not peruse the entirety of the offerings thrice-over, but I did get down to business with a handful of Fletcher's corny dogs and beer with little pieces of wax from the cup floating in it. And it took me back to my childhood. On the way to the game at the buttcrack of 9 in the morning, father Robinson got on the horn to tell his bud that "I smell like a still; I'm hungover and need a corny dog". He was exactly right. Fuck airborne, coffee, emergen-c, or whatever other crackpot hangover cures you might use. Fletcher's is the way to go.

Some say that this is the most formidable college football spectacle around. I, for one, have never been to the Army-Navy game, the other spectacle, nor do I ever intend to attend. Those dudes scare me with their high & tight haircuts and beefy military lingo. So I'm just going to stick with this:

Thanks for the tip... but I got a game to watch.

Why was it so much more difficult to find a ticket to this game than others? I know some of my fantasy brethren would have enjoyed going. Maybe this can get your adrenaline pumping. Cue "The Eyes of Texas"

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