Week 8 Review: Power Rankings

"Problem?" -BEN

With more than half the season gone, the CABC playoff picture is as murky as ever.

No team is more than two games out of a playoff spot in their division, and many teams still have over half their divisional games left to play. Since no clarity can be gleaned from each teams record, here's a brief overview of each team's chances, ranked from worst to first.

SKC: Analrapist. Never-Nude. Taintsman?

10. SKC, Manning The Clipboard, 2-6
         (2-4 NFC, 1141 PF, 1222 PA)

After a series of bad beats and close games to start the season, The Clipboard has lost their last three games by an average of over 40 points. Despite a crucial injury to Ahmad Bradshaw, all is not lost. Clipboard's remaining schedule is laden with home games and middle-of-the-road opponents. His key players have their bye-weeks behind them, and there is no where to go but up.

SKR's Managerial Style on display.

9. SKR, Baiters Gonna 'Bait, 3-5
      (3-3 NFC, 1170.5 PF, 1323 PA)

The Baiters may look back at this season with a good deal of regret. Some would accuse SKR of trading away their best player for an Ivy Leaguer and an invalid. They would be right. For better or worse, the Baiters' fate is now tied to the corpse of Chris Johnson. Hopefully he will end his holdout soon. This team's remaining schedule is slightly tougher than average, but each match-up is winnable.

This photo is unrelated to RSR, but it was recently Halloween and I wanted to post it.

8. RSR, Kittens Riding Turtles, 3-5
      (1-4 NFC, 1202.5 PF, 1281 PA)

The Turtles are a team on the rise. After a blockbuster trade with SKR, this team is poised to make a strong run at a playoff spot. Rookie phenom DeMarco Murray joins Timothy Brady, Adrian Peterson, and an elite defense for the remainder of the season. The Turtles are coming off a tight win over TCTG that earned them the Week 8 Championship. The future looks sunny for RSR and The Turtles, but with only 3 wins (1 in the NFC), this team has their work cut out for them.

Enjoy college, GMF.

7. GMF, Terrence Cody's Tit Gypsies, 3-5

      (2-4 AFC, 1284 PF, 1315.5 PA)
If you look past this team's 3-5 record, you begin to realize that they're pretty damn solid. Of TCTG's four losses, two were by fewer than 5 points and two were to teams who put up over 200 points. Tough losses to take, but hardly indicative of this team's quality. Michael Vick and Fred Jackson playing well, and barring injury, look to finish the season strong. That's the good news. The bad news is that TCTG faces the toughest remaining schedule of any team in CABC. This team has the firepower to get wins against anybody, but they'll likely need a tiebreaker in their favor to advance to the playoffs.

Is RER for real?

6. RER, BYE WEEK, 4-4
      (4-2 AFC, 1161 PF, 1267 PA)

BYE WEEK is a hard team to figure out. After an 0-3 start, RER righted the ship and currently sits at .500 overall and more importantly, he's beaten every team in the AFC. Of course, this strong divisional and head-to-head record will only come into play if he picks up one game on either ARB or ADL. This is certainly possible, but five of BYE WEEK's next six games are on the road. For a team that hasn't put up incredible point totals, those 10 point swings could spell disaster. That being said, RER is still in a strong position with those tiebreakers, and anything can happen down the stretch.

MMB has made some mistakes this season

5. MMB, Afternoon Hangover, 3-5
      (2-4 AFC, 1321.5 PF, 1332.5 PA)

Despite a very respectable 1321.5 points for this season, the Gods have seen fit to punish MMB with a 3-5 record. The Hangover ended their two game slide with a win over rival SKC in a crucial game with strong Taintsman implications. The first half of the season was filled with bad beats for The Hangover, but the schedule looks relatively easy down the stretch. If this team can put together a winning streak, a weak divisional record could easily be overcome to grab a playoff spot.

"Protests! Ha!" -JBF

4. JBF, A Stabbin Dude With Raditude, 4-4
      (2-3 NFC, 1240.5 PF, 1295.5 PA)

Following last year's Taintsman-worthy performance, JBF has bounced back with a fairly respectable season. Raditude's above-average offense and defense has led him to the .500 mark that would earn him a playoff spot if the season ended today. Raditude's remaining schedule is manageable, but not easy. With any luck, BEN will continue his NFC dominance and allow JBF to coast into the playoffs with only an above average record.

ADL rarely smokes, but when he does, he uses NyanCat

3. ADL, Repeat? I GOT THIS, 5-3
      (2-2 AFC, 1323 PF, 1254.5 PA)

ADL is in an extremely tight race for first place in the AFC with only 6.5 points separating Repeat and the Airboats. Despite fairly solid performances, Repeat is only 2-2 in the AFC this season. If ADL wants to live up to his team name, he'll need to make his division games count to grab the playoff tiebreakers. With Andre Johnson finally returning from injury, expect Repeat to improve their already above-average performance.

"Haters to the left." -ARB

2. ARB, The Selfish Airboats, 5-3
      (4-2 AFC, 1329.5 PF, 1238 PA)

After a one-sided victory over SKR last week, ARB has claimed his rightful place atop the AFC. The Airboats have the heart of a champion this year, but injuries on the defense are piling up. ARB currently has the stronger divisional record, a head-to-head win, and more points than ADL, but all of that could easily change down the stretch. If the Airboats' defensive core can stay healthy, ARB expects to make a strong run at the top playoff seed in the AFC.

"Turtle Power, indeed." -BEN

1. BEN, Ninja Vanish!, 8-0
      (6-0 NFC, 1401.5 PF, 1046 PA)

BEN has the best record, by far. BEN has the most points for, by far. BEN has the least points against, by far. Barring a complete meltdown, Vanish! is going to the playoffs this season. With the return of Steven Jackson, your Week 8 MVP, Vanish!'s offense has only grown stronger. Although Vanish!'s remaining schedule is slightly more difficult than average, this team could easily finish the season .500 and keep all three playoff tiebreakers. See you in the playoffs, you Turtle-loving SoB.

Alright, good talk. See you out there.

EDIT: Here are the league's tie-breaking rules for those that asked.

Our league has 2 divisions of 5 teams each. The top two teams from each division advance to the playoffs. We will seed the playoffs manually by division. Top two overall records advance, with ties being broken by head-to-head record, then division record, then regular season total points, then a fist fight.