10 Weeks down, 4 to go. DANCE WITH ME!
Kittens (RSR, 5-5) at Clipboard (SKC, 2-8)
Oh shit, you mean to tell me that RSR has been on some sort
of win streak since pulling a killer bait and switch on S.Nerd?!?! This three
game swing has been enough to turn him into a real contender in the NFC. Now
SKC has to go up against Tom Brady and DeMarco Murray without the help of
DrooBweez or his stellar safety tandem. The one thing Skelly has going for him
is his new home in South Dallas. While drinking non-alcoholic beer in the Park
Cities might be humiliating, in the OC it’s just another personality quirk
designed to grab attention of other hipsters. So congrats, SKC, you’re going to
fit right in.
Hangover (MMB, 4-6) at Repeat (ADL, 6-4)
These two gents have been residents of the WASP hamlet of
Highland Park for a combined 50 years. Yet somehow in that time neither one has
won a Cy Young award, been drafted to the NFL, or even tried to kill Ronald
Reagan. Fact is, private school makes you soft. Good thing we have Twin with
enough testosterone and public school street smarts to make up for the rest of
us. Speaking of testosterone, y’all see Blipster-in-Chief Von Miller lay the
smackdown on El Sanchez? ADL now takes a 30-point lead going into the weekend
while MMB and the entire Giants offense will have to fight their way back in
primetime Sunday night.
Raditude (JBF, 4-6) at Ninja Vanish (BEN, 10-0)
Aaron Rodgers gets a scrimmage at home against Tampa Bay
this week in his continued domination of both the NFL and CABC. His worst game
of the season came back in Week 3 when he had a disappointing outing against
Chicago, turning in only 3 touchdowns for 26 points. Quelle disgrace! After running some numbers, had GMF not
JaMarcused the first overall pick and taken Rodgers, he could be sitting at 6-4
right now fighting for a coveted AFC playoff spot. But instead, Professor Black
has rattled off 10 wins in a row and expects to continue this run through the
final weeks of the season. But guess what, Barryville sucks old car tires and
so does Martin Luther Ki--no…He does not suck old car tires, he was one of the
greatest men in history. I’m sorry. Sometimes I get competitive.
Bye Week (RER, 4-6) at Airboats (ARB, 7-3)
After rattling off four wins in weeks 4-7, RER has
sandwiched them with another three losses. With the rest of their season on the
road, the Bye Weeks have an uphill battle to snag the second AFC playoff spot.
Rookies Cam Newton and Chris Ponder face off as the A1 players on each team,
with Bradford and Ryan bringing up the rear. Even with ARB coming in as the
15-point favorite, expect this matchup to be closer than predicted.
Baiters (SKR, 5-5) at Tit Gypsies (GMF, 3-7)
Carson Palmer’s stat line of 5 TDs, 7 INTs, and 42 points has actually been enough to keep SNerd in the NFC conversation. In fact his forced benching of Adrian Peterson week 7 to give him the season sweep over the Kittens could be key to clinching a spot in the playoffs. The Tit Gypsies are in serious trouble at the moment. Even with the Amish Rifle 1:2 TD to INT ratio the past few weeks hasn’t been enough to increase the workload on Fred Jackson. Even Victor Cruz could see a diminished role should the Giants have other healthy receiving options. The fact is, there are two players who can save GMF from 2100 alcohol-free calories: Dan Bailey and Patrick Willis who combined give the Tit Gypsies almost 20 points every week.
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