Tuesday, September 21, 2010

As a matter of fact, I am depressed

Two Weeks, Two Losses.

Flacco lobbed up 4 INTs. I don't know if that's how the Deleware Blue Hens do things down in Division 1AA, but this is the NFL and you're supposed to bring it on Sundays. Hey Flacco, Bruce Gradkowski had a better game than you. Moving down the box score, I had another Wide Receiver give me a bagel. Somehow Devin Aromashodu, despite having no impact on the outcome of the Cowboys game, is the Chicago Bear I am most angry with this week.

So what should I do now? Do I freak out and pull the trigger on some lopsided trades? Scan the waiver wire for the next player poised for a breakout performance? Take one for the team and kamikaze Roy Williams' house? All of the above, but not necessarily in that order.

First, I have to take a little time for myself. It's times like this I remember that Kurt Warner used to be a grocery stockboy. If that were me, I would have blown my brains out. Then he was a quarterback in the arena league. Again, I would have killed myself, but I probably would have asphyxiated in the Kia I bought with my signing bonus. But look where he is now. Dancing With The Stars. With Bristol Palin, I'd still kill myself.

But I won't. I'll just take the advice of this little girl. AWAKEN IT!

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