Tuesday, September 28, 2010

Week 3 Review: Witchcraft

All Hail BEN, our week 3 champion. [insert "black magic" joke here]
The Celery Men (3-0) over Cocks Out Crocs Out (0-3),  188 - 148.5

The Celery Men continue their win streak! ARB's boys have turned in a remarkably consistent 180+ points every week. On the other hand, COCO needs to overhaul his squad in order to halt a three game slide. ADL should give Ray Rice a pep talk, 11 points won't cut it.

DW Defriended Me (1-2) over First Down Syndrome (0-3), 170.5 - 120

Defriended Me is on the board! A lively performance Michael Vick led the team with 41.5 point effort. Don't count on a repeat performance though, Jacksonville may be the worst team in the league. JBF is still winless through week 3. He needs his team to get healthy soon, or Syndrome's season could be over by week 5.

T.O.'s Time Outs (2-1) over Nude Tayne (2-1), 170.5 - 125.5

MMB wins a crucial AFC division match-up over RER. With the win, MMB picks up a potential playoff tiebreaker.  It looks like three teams (ARB, MMB and RER) are going to be fighting for two playoff spots. Nude Tayne had an off day on what otherwise appears to be a strong team. T.O.'s Timeouts were buoyed by Brees' 38 points to a very healthy 170.5 points.

Assholes Finish 1st (3-0) over NomNomNom Suh (1-2), 210.5 - 152

Despite having our Week 3 MVP, Purple Jesus, turn in a monster 45.5 points, SKR was blown out by our Week 3 Champion BEN. Finish 1st had fantastic performances across the board, but Aaron Rodgers stood out with 31 points. Both teams in this game left points on the bench this week, but who would have guessed that Mark Sanchez or Anquan Boldin would actually deliver?

David Buehler's Day Off (3-0) over Foxborough Fellatio (0-3), 208.5 - 163.5

Here's a stat for you: through three weeks, GMF has 621 points against him, or an average points against of 207. Brutal. It's hard to blame him for being 0-3. SKC appears to be the class of the league: undefeated, most total points for, and a deep bench. Despite all of this, I'd like to remind everyone that Tomlinson has absolutely no business being good again.

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