Some of you don't have jobs and should be contributing to the blog more often

To Those Who Love The Game

 My great day came and went, I do not know how.  Because it did not pass through dawn when it came, nor through dusk when it went. 

As I write this, men and women in labs across the country are studying the effects of multiple sub-concussive forces to the human brain. They're studying the brains of former boxers and football players.

Eventually, they will prove what we already suspect: getting hit in the head repeatedly causes chronic traumatic encephalopathy, a progressive neurological disorder. C.T.E. is ugly: it begins with behavioral and personality changes, followed by disinhibition and irritability, and then dementia.

Football has never been more popular than it is today, but the party's over.

Boxing will be the first to go. Medical professionals are already calling for a ban, and boxing is unlikely to put up much resistance. Fights will take place outside the US and appear on pay-per-view as usual. Revenue stream intact, boxing will soldier on.

Once boxing is banned, football's days are numbered. This is how it will go: if football can be shown to be similarly bad to boxing, and if boxing is banned, football should be banned too.

The NFL is already in full damage-control mode: concussions are enemy number one in the league. This public relations gambit is working beautifully now, but it won't last.

The problem is that chronic traumatic encephalopathy isn't just caused by concussions. C.T.E. is mostly caused by repeated sub-concussive forces. It's the jabs, not the hooks that get you.

The damage is caused every snap as linemen slam their heads together. Lineman and defensive lineman slamming heads together is an integral part of football. The game cannot exist without it. The game of football as we know it today will be banned in our lifetime.

We should cherish every down we have left. 

And so, for those who love the game, I want to help you love it more.

That special day...

Penis wine? Teste-torching tournaments? Has CABC really deteriorated to conversations about finding ways to consume man-parts or could it be... is it possibly because... it's ARB's BIRTHDAY?!?

Here's to hoping your day is full of liquid dick, edible balls, and whatever is going on here...

Special thanks to SKC for use of his strong arm

Calling all cooks!

To continue the trend of edible and or potable genitalia, I bring to you coverage of the Ball Brawl Gonad Olympiad Fight for the Nutsack Plaque Duel of the Family Jewels World Testicle Cooking Championships.


My question is why would these guys go into the woods for a campout with a bunch of other guys who like to bbq balls? Catch you boners later, it's dinner time!

Business Idea!

Everyone knows that Taco is the number one importer/exporter of 3, 5, 7, and 9 Penis Wines, but who supplies the 4, 6, 8, and 10 Penis Wines?

Using Shepherd in place of Taco, we could monopolize the even numbered Penis Wines trade. In America, more is better. Why drink 3-Penis Wine when 4-Penis Wine is on the market?